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CLARA PARRISH-WRIC.HT AND ELDI'.R SON 


AN UP-TO-DATE 
COURTSHIP 


BY 

CLARA (PARRISHrWRIGHT 



Cochrane Publishing Co. 
Tribune Building 
New York 
1909 



Copyright, 1909, 

BY 

COCHRANE PUBLISHING CO. 


©CI.A253374 

\ 




TO MY HUSBAND, 

Who has been my faithful critic, and who shares 
with me every sentiment herein expressed, 
and 

TO MY BABIES, 

Who have been, largely, its inspiration. 

This book is lovingly dedicated by 

The Author. 



THE AUTHOR WISHES ALSO 
to pay 

GRATEFUL TRIBUTE 
to her 
MOTHER, 

Whose unwavering faith and capacity for sacrifice 
gave her daughter large opportunity for 
study and travel. 

AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 



The heart does not more love the heart that loves 
it than the brain loves the brain that comprehends 
it. — Richard Le Gallienne. 













A FOREWORD. 

If you belong to that class, dear reader, who be- 
lieves that ‘‘The course of true love never did run 
smooth,’’ you will be quite disgusted with my story, 
for it is my one purpose to try to prove that if it 
does not “run smooth” before marriage, it will not 
afterward; that if there is not sufficient native affin- 
ity to guarantee a like judgment on all subjects, and 
a like appreciation of all the things that touch the 
lives of the parties during the days of courtship, a 
really harmonious harmony cannot be effected after- 
ward. 

The one thing then for those who desire — or think 
they desire — to unite their lives, and all their earthly 
interests, is to discover whether a full affinity or the 
complete trinity of love exists. And how is this to 
be done ? Certainly not in silent walks, in indulging 
in embraces, and in endearing terms. 

It is a matter of the deepest conviction with the 
author that the ante-nuptial period should be made 
9 


lO 


FOREWORD. 


by young people a time for the most careful study 
of each other, through a discussion of all the sub- 
jects that can possibly affect their joint lives, instead 
of a season for the mere exchange of magnetism so 
universally observed. 

Herein then is the reason for these letters. I 
would help young men and women, whom I have 
learned to greatly admire through years of work 
with and for them, to a better understanding of 
each other, and to a finer comprehension of the real 
meanings and purposes of their united lives. 

C. P. W. 


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lIF.LF.N 



An Up-to-date Courtship 


PRESENTATION OF LEADING CHARAC- 
TERS : 

J. Arthur Macdonald, a young farmer of South- 
west Texas; a Scotchman, six feet tall and very mus- 
cular, though he could not be said to incline to stout- 
ness; with the typical ruddy blond complexion, blue 
eyes, heavy, straight brown hair, so light and bright 
as almost to suggest the red, a smooth face and an 
exceptionally strong, fine nose. Altogether, he must 
have been about as “bonnie a laddie” as one would 
wish to see, and now, at thirty-five, crowned with 
success and moral greatness, is a giant in comeliness 
and strength — a prince among men. 

By his knowledge, unusual powers of concentra- 
tion, and hard work he has achieved unparalleled 
success ; and by being ‘Recreated,” or saved, through 
'‘an eye single” to business, has lived a most exem- 
plary Christian life; a life above reproach. One 
thing only could be said to mar the symmetrical 
beauty of his character — in the estimation of the best 
type of educated young womanhood — he is, while 
disgusted with society and society women — who re- 
gard him, by the way, as the most desirable pros- 
II 


12 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


pective husband of the country — violently opposed to 
women in politics, on the platform, or in any sense 
in public life. 

Since this is due, however, to the conservative at- 
mosphere in which he has been brought up, and not 
to any knowledge he possesses of the actual results 
of woman’s enlarged sphere, he finds it easy to 
change his opinions when his real education in the 
matter begins, and this he does with all the good 
sense with which he is possessed. 

Helen Estelle Davenport, a young woman lecturer 
under the auspices of the National Equal Suffrage 
Association; residence, Paris, Illinois; of medium 
height, slight, graceful, a perfect brunette, with large, 
sympathetic eyes, and a wealth of hair, accompanied 
by that rich coloring of the skin that is so rare. 
Ideally beautiful, indeed, in both form and feature, 
and with a very superior and delicate sense of the 
artistic and appropriate in dress. A college girl, 
also, and of the very best type. Age, thirty-two 
years. 

She is asked by the National Society to hold some 
meetings in San Antonio, and at this time young 
Macdonald hears her and is completely captivated, 
first by her winsome personality, and second by her 
logic, and concludes that the views he has held are 
altogether wrong and entirely unworthy of present- 
day manhood. 

On the night he first hears her, she is dressed in 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


13 


full white, without an ornament, her fine color being 
heightened by the decorations of the platform, par- 
ticularly by a bowl of crimson roses at her side. A 
lovely maiden, truly, and one so wholly different 
from the unrefined, loudly dressed, mannish-looking 
individual he had expected to see. He writes her, 
the next day, a note of appreciation — ^because he 
could not help it — she answers, ‘*And now my story’s 
begun.” 

‘'Cameron Court,” San Antonio, 

Nov. I, 1905. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

A crusty old bachelor, and one who has always 
been most conservative on the whole “woman ques- 
tion,” wishes to thank you for your last evening’s 
address. To say nothing of its elegant diction, it 
was certainly the finest logic to which I ever lis- 
tened. 

Go on with the good work. “The Woman’s 
Cause” must win, when espoused by such win- 
some young women as yourself. 

In the future, in your list of supporters, please 
include the name of J. Arthur Macdonald. 

303 “The Ladies^ Mile,” San Antonio, 

Nov. 2, 1905. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

My host and hostess, with whom I shared the 
contents of your note, have said so many kind 


14 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


things about you that it gives me very unusual 
pleasure to answer and to express my appreciation 
of your candor and good sense. To know that one 
who possesses so much influence will henceforth 
help to interpret the so-called “new woman” to the 
world will be an inspiration indeed. 

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of 
you.” 

In grateful acknowledgment, 

Helen E. Davenport. 

“Cameron Court/’ San Antonio, 

Nov. 4, 1905. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

I heard you again last night at the Grand Opera 
House, in Alamo Plaza, and your appeal to the 
chivalry of men touched me so deeply that I could 
not sleep afterward. Perhaps restitution is what 
I need to make, so I enclose herewith a check for 
ten thousand dollars to be used as your Society may 
direct. 

May our Father continue to inspire your mes- 
sage, is the prayer of your new friend, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

303 “The Ladies’ Mile,” San Antonio, 

Nov. 5, 1905. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

If it were not that I believe so fully in the 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


15 


righteousness (rightness) of our cause, and that 
ultimately right must prevail, I should certainly 
be overwhelmed by the magnificence of your gift. 
As it is, I accept it for the Society, feeling that 
many such princely offerings would be but the just 
dues of those who have sacrificed so much to move 
the world heavenward. 

Your gift will make our leaders very happy, for 
they can do a great educational work with this sum, 
but I predict that you will be blessed beyond all 
others, so great is the reflex influence of any un- 
selfish act. I covet, beyond everything else, the 
ability to do this sort of great things. 

May I not see you before I leave San Antonio on 
Wednesday and thank you in person? Professor 
and Madam la Rose join in a cordial invitation to 
you to dine at “Travellyn Lodge” to-morrow at eight 
o’clock. Hoping to see you then, 

I am yours, in much appreciation, 

Helen E. Davenport. 

'Uamero-n Court,” 

San Antonio, 

Nov. 5, 1905. 

My Dear Miss Davenport : 

It will give me great pleasure to dine at 'Travel- 
lyn Lodge” to-morrow at the hour you name. I very 
much wished to meet you, but, knowing how fully 


i6 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


i 


your time was employed, I scarcely dared hope for 
the honor. 

Give my respects and thanks to your good 
and hostess, the Professor and the Lady la Rose, xu 
expect me promptly at eight o’clock. 

With many thanks to you for giving me this happy 
privilege, 

I am, very truly yours, 

J. Arthur Macdon 

^'Cameron Court,” 

San Antonio, 

Jan. 5, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport : 

After our interview of two months ago, I feel 
sure that you will not be surprised to hear from 
me again. Something — I dare not question fully 
what — has quickened a sense I thought dead within 
me, and a desire to cultivate anew the acquaintance 
of young women has taken possession of my soul. 

Would you — could you conscientiously — from 
what you have learned of my character, regard me 
in the light of a possible lover? I have no motive 
in addressing you thus, other than that I desire to 
discover whether there may not be existing between 
us that affinity which insures union in all the plans 
and purposes of life. 

Having been unable to truly honor and admire the 
young women whom I have met in society — and 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


17 


being tcx) prejudiced to study your type — I have 
‘teadfastly tried, for years, to pluck all the conjugal 
w idowers’" from the garden of my heart; but, since 
learing and meeting you, I feel that life would not 
be worth the living if one is never to know this 
unity in its highest and most exalted sense. 

This is very abrupt, I know, but I am a business 
'an and have no other mode of expression. Besides, 
«lieve these things should be studied more in the 
aim of business; in other words, that the head 
hould rule the ante-nuptial “court,” if hearts are 
to enlarge and be satisfied in the post. 

Trusting that some good angel will interpret my 
spirit, and that I may hear from you again at your 
earliest convenience, 

I am, very sincerely yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

St. Joseph, Mo., 

Jan. 24, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

It is not my custom to reply, favorably, to such 
letters as your last, but, since it is so free from senti- 
mentalism — you know there is a vast difference be- 
tween sentiment and sentimentalism — and since I 
know so much to honor in your character, for once 
I am willing to study affinities, too. 

Like yourself, I am a “bachelor^’ not because I 
have not a large appreciation of real manhood, but 


i8 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 

because those with whom I have been associated 
have not come up to my ideal of what the ‘‘Lord of 
the Manor” should be. Or, perhaps, I would better 
say, those who wanted to marry me did not. 

I shall have many questions to ask, many revela- 
tions to make, with some of which you may not be 
pleased; but, be that as it may, we shall doubtless 
both profit by the study of harmonies. 

Yours for a mutual understanding, 

Helen E. Davenport. 

Instead of giving you my itinerary, I would rec- 
ommend that you send all letters to my permanent 
address, at Paris, Illinois. From there they are al- 
ways promptly forwarded. 

“La Planta Farm,” 
January 29, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

Your liberal interpretation of my spirit gave me 
much happiness. It may seem strange, perhaps, that 
I should so suddenly find myself interested in a rep- 
resentative of a class for whom I have had little less 
than contempt in the past, but you have revealed the 
heart of the true woman to me in a way that has 
completely changed my thought and life. Can you 
find any excuse for my ignorance? 

My going to hear you that night seemed, at the 
time, purely accidental, I having been teased into 
attending the meeting by a young niece of whom I 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


19 


am very fond; but I feel now that it was but the 
planning of Him who “controls the destiny that 
shapes our ends/' for, whether or not any union 
comes of this meeting, I shall always be a better man 
for having known you. 

Yours in the hope of a richer acquaintance, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Council Bluffs, Iowa, 

February 3, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

Knowing the environment of your life, I am not in 
the least surprised at the views you have held on the 
“woman question.” Your parents belong to the old 
school, as do the majority of those with whom you 
have been associated. You were educated at a Uni- 
versity that would tend to dwarf rather than enlarge 
your vision, and in all your immense library, I doubt 
if there is a single book written by one of the 
“Knights” or “Ladies” of the new school. Add to 
this the ridicule of certain daily newspapers, and, I 
repeat, it was perfectly natural that you should have 
entertained the sentiments you did. 

Then I must admit also that some of the early 
representatives of the cause retarded rather than ad- 
vanced it by their utter disregard of their personal 
appearance. Still others, but this class did not in- 
crease, adopted an attire that looked somewhat man- 
nish. With this, now, I should have no patience. I 


20 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


have no more use for a mannish woman than I have 
for an eflfeminate — ^notice that I say effeminate, not 
feminine — man ; but I can find many excuses for the 
mistakes of the first advocates of any reform, for 
the reason that the fight against them is so strong 
that they have neither time nor heart to consider 
things that do not directly bear upon their work, or, 
considering them, choose to adopt customs that will 
be distinguishing, thinking that, perchance, as a re- 
sult of the notoriety thus obtained, their messages 
will receive larger audience. 

There are other points in your letter to which I 
should like to refer, but I am to meet a number of 
people before the evening meeting, so will have to 
close. 

I must not forget to tell you, though, how de- 
lighted is our '‘Chief,” the Hon. Dr. Anna Howard 
Shaw, and other leaders, over your generous 
gift. Why do I say "Honorable”? The title is not 
the monopoly of politicians — many of whom are 
the least worthy of it — but belongs to those, men or 
women, who have performed some unselfish service 
for humanity. 

Guests are arriving. 

In great haste, 

Helen E. Davenport. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


21 


'Uameron Court/' 

San Antonio, 
February 7, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

Unless you have received pardon for some griev- 
ous blunder, you cannot imagine my joy on reading 
your last letter ! How glad I am that when my eyes 
were opened it was by the reading of such a gracious, 
clever “book" as yourself. The inexpressible beauty 
of your womanliness — a soul beauty I had never di- 
vined before — as well as your artistic and appropriate 
dress, half converted me before you arose that night, 
and by the time you had finished your unanswerable 
argument. I was in perfect sympathy with you, and, 
in consequence, living in a new world. By the way, 
what was the quotation you gave from Lord Tenny- 
son at that time? “The woman's cause is man's," 
etc. I presume I have read it, but it had never espe- 
cially impressed me until your application of it 
brought out its unusual strength and beauty, as does 
your application of everything. 

May I ask, too, without seeming impertinent, what 
it was that led you out into public work; what par- 
ticular incident or accident of your life? If I have 
read your soul as thoroughly as I believe I have, it 
is not because you would choose the platform as the 
best means to the end you seek ; you are naturally too 
modest and retiring. Sometimes I feel that you are 
carrying the burden of a great sorrow, or disappoint- 


22 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


merit, and that it is this that has so vitalized your 
personality and your speech. 

I trust that you will not consider it discourteous in 
me to have spoken of the matter. If I have asked 
about something too sacred to relate, why, of course, 
you will not answer, and that will be all right. 
Awaiting a reply, I am. 

Very truly yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Minneapolis, Minn., 

Feb. 15, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

Instead of thinking it discourteous in you to have 
asked why I am in the lecture field, I am only too 
glad for an opportunity to talk to you about myself, 
for I do not want to keep anything from you, and it 
is just possible that when you know my history, and 
more about my work, you may lose all interest in me. 

When I was very young, a mere child of fifteen, 
my stepmother — I lost my own mother in infancy — 
wished me to marry a man of considerable promi- 
nence in the community because he had money and 
position. Child that I was, I knew that he was 
drinking continuously, and that the time would come 
when position, money, and all would be gone. I 
knew also that more than one young woman had 
been betrayed by him, and I reminded my step- 
mother of these things, but they had no influence 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


23 


with her, and I was so disappointed, and every day 
was made so uncomfortable for me that I left home 
and never returned. That year I began teaching 
school, and a little later, with the help of friends, 
entered Chicago University. Here I heard all the 
foremost women speakers of this and other lands, 
and my life was transformed — or rather formed — 
by them. The address of the Honorable Miss 
Frances E. Willard on “A White Life for Two,’’ 
especially influenced me, and was the means of my 
consecrating myself to the work of teaching one 
standard of morals for both young men and young 
women. Afterward I took up other subjects, for I 
soon learned that purity, suffrage, and temperance 
were all very closely related. 

Now you know why the sadness you discerned. 
I’m “An exile from home.” It may be that it does 
give me power, but the estrangement from my 
idolized father, and the separation from my dear 
brother Paul, who has since, as foreign corre- 
spondent for the Metropolitan press, resided abroad, 
is almost more than I can bear. 

It has so happened that you have heard me on the 
suffrage question only. I have wondered many 
times, since this correspondence began, whether you 
would have been equally pleased had you heard me 
on temperance or purity. 

The quotation from Lord Tennyson to which you 
refer is from “The Princess,” and is as follows: 


24 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


“The Woman’s Cause is Man’s; they rise or sink 

Together, dwarf’d or Godlike, bond or free. 

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ 

Yet in the long years liker must they grow ; 

The man be more of woman, she of man ; 

He gain in sweetness and in moral height. 

She mental breadth, — 

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ 

Till at the last she set herself to Man, 

Like perfect music unto noble words ; 

ifi * * 

Then comes the statlier Eden back to man; 

Then reigns the world’s great bridals chaste and calm; 

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ 

Then springs the crowning race of humankind. 

May these things be !’’ 

Isn’t it fine? If you will read the entire connec- 
tion, you will discover other strong, beautiful points. 

Hoping for your continued interest in the cause, 
at least, I am most respectfully yours, 

Helen Estelle Davenport. 

‘‘La Planta Farm,” 

Feb. 20, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

I wish I had some way of making you understand 
at once how very much I sympathize with you in 
your separation from your father and brother. Pos- 
sibly, through the mental science by which I was evi- 
dently informed of your grief, you may, even now, 
feel the response. I hope so, at any rate, though I 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


25 


know that, while we have some wonderful demon- 
strations of telepathy, we do not seem able to main- 
tain unbroken lines. Do you not believe we are to 
have some interesting discoveries soon in the realm 
of this science? If wireless telegraphy is possible, 
why not wireless telepathy ? If lifeless instruments, 
wholly unconnected by any tangible lines, can 
“speak’" to each other, though hundreds, or possibly 
thousands of miles intervene, why not human souls ? 
I do not pretend to understand, I simply say. Why 
not? 

Ordinarily, I know it would not be good policy 
to let one’s self become particularly interested in a 
young woman who is “An exile from home”; but 
I have myself noted the things you name in society, 
and honor you for the position you have taken. 
There is no doubt but that a very large proportion 
of own mothers, even, who have marriageable 
daughters, are so anxious to see them “make a good 
match” — that is, marry money and position — that 
they totally ignore the morals of the man. They 
will go so far, sometimes, as to admit into their 
homes men whom they know to have betrayed inno- 
cent girls, and who are little less than moral lepers. 
I dare say I know these things even better than 
you — that is, the practices of immoral men — for I 
have had larger opportunity to study them and 
learn their habits, and I assure you many things 
are revolting to the last degree. 


26 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


As to your work for temperance and purity, I 
can think of no phase of it that would not meet 
with my approval. The latter subject is a very dif- 
ficult one to present, I imagine, to a mixed audience, 
but with your classical speech and presence I be- 
lieve you could do it in a way that would silence 
both the ignorant and the vile — the two classes from 
whom the criticisms would come. Do you wish me 
to express myself in a more personal way on these 
subjects? I can truthfully say that no good woman 
is less virtuous because she knows me, and I never 
did debauch my manhood by associating with women 
who are impure. As to intoxicants, the lighter 
wines were always on my father’s table, and I was 
brought up to believe that a moderate use of them 
was both wholesome and safe. It was not until I 
went to Princeton that I heard anything contrary- 
wise. Of course, a great many young men there 
drank, but I was fortunate in securing a room- 
mate who was a total abstainer, now my dear friend, 
the Rev. Dr. R. Bruce Van Allen, of Plainfield, 
New Jersey, and with him I went one night to hear 
the Honorable Jno. G. Woolley, the great temper- 
ance orator. If you ever heard him in the graphic 
recital of his personal experiences, you can under- 
stand how deeply I was moved. I signed the pledge 
that night — now more than fifteen years ago — and 
and have scarcely been even tempted to break it 
since. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


27 


Hoping that this will give you a still better un- 
derstanding of my character and sentiments, I am, 
Most cordially yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Fargo, N. Dakota, 

March i, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

To say that I was pleased with your letter of the 
20th ultimo would only half express it. I was de- 
lighted to find that you understood me. Delighted 
also to know that you do not need to be converted to 
the principles of temperance and purity. I could ac- 
cept the attentions of a young man whom I had 
convinced of the justice of woman’s enfranchisement, 
but I could not of one who needed converting, or 
was converted under my teaching, to temperance or 
purity. Indeed a man who needed any change of 
heart at all on the latter subject would have abso- 
lutely no interest for me. Neither would he have — 
as a prospective lover — if he had ever been a drunk- 
ard. 

This has been my chief quarrel with young 
women and my chief concern regarding them. 
How they think they can see any happiness for 
themselves, in the future, when they marry men 
who drink, and whose moral standards are low, is 
more than I can tell. They ‘‘love them,” they say. 
Bahf I have no patience with it. They do not 


28 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


know the first principles of the real passion. Love 
is founded on respect, and no other foundation 
has it. 

Then there is the sin — such a sin, it seems to me 
— of accepting for the father of one’s children a 
man both diseased and depraved. Admitting that it 
is the privilege of young women to blight their own 
individual lives, if they choose, they have no right 
— absolutely none — to dwarf mentally, weaken 
morally, and disease physically, the men and women 
of to-morrow. I feel very strongly on this subject, 
and believe, when I am talking to young women 
along these lines, I am at my best. 

Replying to another part of your letter — I cannot 
hold you responsible for the customs of your fa- 
ther’s house. You seem to be open to conviction in 
all matters that pertain to right and justice, and that 
trait in your character is admirable in the extreme. 
Some men would say it is a sign of weakness, per- 
chance, to be convertible, but I regard it as a sign 
of strength. It is such as you who make the world 
move on from high to still higher ideals. And it is 
the boasted unconvertible sort who block the wheels 
of progress and delay the great Utopian day. 

Concerning the subject of “telepathy,” I have 
given it considerable thought, and conclude with 
you that we are to have some larger revelations of 
its possibilities soon. I myself am somewhat slow 
to accept new theories, or discoveries, when the 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


29 


mystic is under the searchlight, but I have had some 
unusual experiences in this realm, and must admit 
that I am intensely interested in it. 

Hoping that you, too, will understand me better 
as a result of this letter, I am. 

Most appreciatively yours, 

Helen E. Davenport. 

“La Planta Farm,'' 

March 4, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport : 

Your dissertation on the subject of love — which 
must be excerpts from your special lecture to young 
women — I found of very peculiar interest. Will you 
not tell me more? You have been my teacher in 
other matters. I believe you are capable of instruct- 
ing me in this. What is love? Is it a voluntary or 
involuntary act or condition of the human soul? 
The old idea is, I think, that “love goes where it is 
sent" — that is, that it is beyond the control of the 
individual. Can you appreciate this sentiment? I 
believe myself to be in love with you. Can you im- 
agine any such condition as that possible when we 
have met but once face to face? 

I shall not tell you that I cannot live without you, 
nor indulge in any expressions that could call in 
question my sanity, as I have known men to do, but 
truly and sincerely I believe that the spirit that has 
led me out and up to higher, nobler thought and life 


30 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


is the ‘‘magnet’' that, correlated, could raise me to 
the very beauty of holiness. Is there not some re- 
sponse in your heart to this? If there is not some 
way of determining when related souls meet, then 
a theory of mine is shattered, for I have always felt 
that the queen of my heart was to appear suddenly 
upon my horizon; that I was to recognize her in- 
stantly, and that she would be all my desires could 
picture. 

As I have before told you, there was a period in 
my life when hope ran low; yet even then I never 
quite lost my interest in a possible beautiful home 
that was to be presided over by “My Lady Fair.” 
Am I still understood? Am I worthy the home I 
would help to build ? 

Of course I am more pleased than I can tell that 
you do not hold me responsible for the customs of 
my father’s house. Also that you find my frank, 
open nature so admirable. On some subjects my 
judgments are yet unformed and I pray God, that, 
when the moment comes to decide each, I may still 
be as easily convertible to the right. 

Awaiting most anxiously your next, 

I am, in all truth and candor, yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

By your last letter, I see that I have impressed 
you as one well versed in the “Ethics of Love.” 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


31 


Quite the reverse is true, I assure you. I consider 
myself almost a novice, yet I have been a close stu- 
dent of the laws controlling the affections — because 
this sort of knowledge is of great value to me in my 
work among young women — and I do not mind giv- 
ing you the results of my research. 

First, lexicographers tell us that “conjugal love is 
a strong, complex emotion of the soul;” but this 
definition is very unsatisfactory unless one is able 
to still further analyze it, and to discover why or 
what produces it. Especially is it important in the 
study of it to be able to determine what the word 
“complex” comprehends, for by the use of that very 
term it is evident that it is not easily explained. 
On consulting the highest authority, I find that 
“complex” means : “consisting of interwoven parts,” 
so we know that several elements enter into the 
composition of conjugal love. Now, what are they? 
Of course, in the very beginning, there must be a 
physical attraction, the appeal being first made 
through the sense of sight; love has, therefore, a 
physical side, or element, and it is basic. Second, I 
hold that there must be an intellectual perception 
and compatibility, so a mental side or element, and, 
third, a spiritual unity, which produces that esctatic 
feeling inspired by a perfect blending of the phys- 
ical and mental attributes. 

The physical element, which is the involuntary at- 
traction of two natures for each other, is the ele- 


32 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


ment that quickens the pulse; it is the rushing 
together, so to speak, of the two poles of a magnet ; 
it is so powerful and convincing as to make young 
people believe that they have found their exact coun- 
terparts, and cause them to plunge into matrimony 
without further consideration of the subject. It is 
not love, however, and has no more power to hold, 
after the ‘'honeymoon’' has passed than had the 
withes and cords with which the Philistines bound 
Israel’s muscular Judge. It is those who marry 
with this limited knowledge and experience, only, 
who soon apply for a divorce. I would not min- 
imize the physical element — it is essential, but I re- 
peat, it, alone, is not love, and has absolutely no 
ability, of itself, to insure happiness. Of course, if 
two people are so illiterate or low bred as to have 
no conception of intellectual or spiritual affinity, they 
may possibly be happy, in their way, but you know 
the more civilized man becomes, the higher is his 
ideal of love and marriage. 

We say there is “intellectual compatibility” when 
the ideality of the parties is identical. That is, when 
they read the same literature, admire the same works 
of art, have the same opinions regarding religion, 
justice, honor, civic duties and so on and on. This 
element may be cultivated, under certain conditions, 
but it cannot be planted outright, unless the soils 
are akin. We might class it as semi-voluntary, for 
we can learn to admire those whose ideals are similar 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


33 


to our own — though they may not interest us in any 
other way — and husband and wife, who have no 
other attraction, can be reasonably happy together. 
They will be much happier at least than the two who 
are mated physically only, for in the former in- 
stance regard will increase with a longer acquaint- 
ance, while in the latter, a revulsion of feeling fol- 
lows the “honeymoon.” In neither case, however, 
it seems to me, have the parties a moral right to 
parenthood. A great American editor once said, 
through his magazine, in referring to mere physical 
mating in marriage, “it is nothing more nor less 
than legal prostitution.” 

What shall I say further of the Spiritual f It can 
follow only zi^hen the physical and mental elements 
are harmonious and complete, and to be complete, 
there must be included, in addition to what has al- 
ready been said, a mutual understanding and an 
exalted appreciation of God’s design in creating sex. 
I like to think of the spiritual element in love as 
God’s seal of approbation upon the union, for un- 
doubtedly it is that element which renders sacred the 
marital relation, and there can be no real marriage 
without it. When this element is present in a union, 
in large measure, with the other two, physical attrac- 
tion and intellectual affinity, men and women attain 
to what we call “heaven upon earth,” the most satis- 
fying ideal of life being reached. 

Now, would you say that spiritual love is volun- 


34 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


tary or involuntary? All other conditions being 
favorable, I believe it involuntarily follows, though, 
of course, that '^ecstatic emotion” before referred to 
can only be the result of gradual growth as the two 
natures unfold. The best quality of ‘'the tender pas- 
sion’’ is a matter of growth in every sense in fact, 
for while there is an involuntary element, the per- 
fect harmonizing of souls is very largely a matter 
of cultivation and care. 

All this analysis leads one to feel that the 
spiritual part is transcendently the more beauti- 
ful part, yet the intellectual is important — since 
it is through the intellect that beauty — i. e., 
character — is discerned; and even the physical, de- 
ceptive and dangerous as it is, must not be ignored. 
What we should do when we feel moved by the 
physical element’s captivating power is to refuse 
to let it “have dominion over us,” if our calm judg- 
ment tells us that between ourself and the other 
party there is neither mental nor spiritual affinity, 
nor any possible ground upon which they could be 
made to grow. I perfectly agree with a statement in 
one of your former letters when you said: “The 
head must rule the ante-nuptial ‘court,’ if hearts are 
to enlarge and be satisfied in the post.” 

Do I believe that '‘love at first sight” is possible ? 
Yes, but I do not believe that all those who think 
themselves capable of discerning it so readily really 
are. In fact, I think I should distrust any one’s 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


35 


judgment in the matter until some tests had been 
made, but the truth is, if the basis of a perfect union 
exists at all it exists in the beginning, so there is 
some reason in the old ideals. 

Have I not replied to you, indirectly, when you 
ask: “Am I in love?” 

My physical being does respond to the call 
of yours, and I am inclined to think you are 
worthy to help build the home you have pic- 
tured, but whether there exists between yourself 
and me all the harmonies necessary to its perfect 
“musical setting” I cannot say. We are in a fair way 
to discover, however, it seems to me, and this leads 
me to the subject of courtship; do you know I think 
it is so wrong for young people to make the period of 
courtship a season for the mere exchange of mag- 
netism, when it should be a time for candidly dis- 
cussing all things that could, in any way, affect their 
joint lives. There is much education needed in this 
matter, too. The subject is inexhaustible, but I 
cannot say more at this time. 

Hoping that what I have said is but the introduc- 
tion to what we shall know some day, I am. 

Very truly yours, 

Helen E. Davenport. 


36 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


''La Planta Farm/" 

March 14, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

I do not know how to thank you enough for your 
letter of the loth inst. Again, you have led me into 
a new world of thought. 

Of course, in a way, I suppose every one tries to 
define and divine the passion of his soul, but I have 
never read so comprehensive an analysis of love as 
the one you have given, and I do not believe very 
many young people have gone so deeply into the sub- 
ject. Is it not your duty to give the results of your 
study along these lines larger audience? Would not 
young women, and young men, too, with such an 
analysis as a guide (intelligent young men and wom- 
en) be sensible enough to continue the study, in 
their own cases, and accept the tests, even though a 
temporary disappointment were the result? If they 
would, the divorce question might almost be settled 
out of the courts, for it undoubtedly is a lack of 
knowledge of the laws controlling the affections that 
causes so much unhappiness and so many separa- 
tions. We say, in speaking of some of our friends — 
''there is incompatibility.’" What we mean, I now 
see, is that the trinity of love is wanting. 

I am so impressed with the truth of what you say 
regarding these things, and I feel as though you 
must make them known " for the sake of the homes 
we build to-morrow,” to use one of your own quota- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 37 


tions. You have said that you coveted money be- 
cause of the great help you could then be in forward- 
ing every good cause; I covet, beyond all else, the 
ability to give expression to some beautiful, vital 
sentiment that shall make every one better who reads 
it. Is it not a commendable ambition? I owe 
even this to you, however, for I have been so 
absorbed in business I really never have been es- 
pecially interested in making this old world better 
before. 

Your statement, or quotation, to the effect that 
the cohabitation of the sexes, unless sanctified by 
the presence of the spiritual element in love, **is 
nothing less than legal prostitution’’ almost shocked 
me at first, but I see now that it is as impossible for 
a civil contract to join two people as it is for mere 
membership in the church to save them. 

The relations of men and women are nearly all 
on a false basis. The deeper I go into the subject, 
the more clearly I see this. The better I understand 
you, too, the more I admire and appreciate you and 
long to know you intimately. I can bide your time, 
however. You have given me all the hope a woman 
with such a soul could, and I shall be content to await 
developments; shall want to wait, in fact, until we 
can put to the test every condition that could produce 
a discordant note. 

I wish we might have another meeting soon ; can 
you see any possibility of this ? 


38 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


Thanking you again, and again, for your gracious 
helpfulness, 

I am, yours, “in the patience of hope,” 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Lincoln, Neb., 

March 20, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald : 

If I were inclined to be conceited, methinks my 
head would be quite turned as a result of the com- 
pliments in your last, appreciative letter. You are 
an apt pupil (?) truly. It had never occurred to me 
that I was capable of delving down into the depths 
and bringing up pearls. You encourage me greatly. 
I will consider what you say regarding my “duty,” 
for I certainly desire to do all I can to help bring 
about a finer comprehension and a more exalted view 
of love, courtship and marriage. 

Although I have given much of my time to the 
propagation of other truths, thinking that perhaps 
woman’s industrial and political emancipation would 
have to precede her elevation to the position of a 
coordinate officer in the home, I have long believed 
that the relations of the sexes was by far the most 
vital subject before us. 

To my mind even the secret liaisons of men and 
women are scarcely more profane than marriage 
without the sanctifying force of spiritual union. I 
have never given these sentiments public utterance 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


39 


because I know I should be misunderstood, but I 
want you to know how I feel. The low ideals some 
men and women hold of their God-given powers of 
procreation result in the committing of the greatest 
sins of this or any age. All the murders, even, that 
are perpetrated in the heat of passion, do not com- 
pare in awfulness with the murders, in cold blood, 
of unborn children, or being born are unwelcome 
and unloved. ‘‘Go away; I never did want you,*’ I 
once heard a mother say to her beautiful, three-year- 
old boy ! 

You may think I take an extreme view of this, 
and perhaps I do, but in my travels I have such large 
opportunity to know conditions, and I hear such 
terribly distressing things. Nearly every day some 
woman opens her heart, sometimes to tell me she is 
in torment because of the abuses that are practiced 
upon her ! sometimes to boast of her own cleverness 
(?) in being able to enjoy a perpetual honeymoon 
(?) without ever having the care of children. I 
know whereof I speak, and I repeat, that it is in this 
realm that the greatest sins of all are committed. 
When I think along these lines, and especially when 
I write, it seems to me my very soul is aflame with 
an indescribable longing to alter conditions. 

Society is organized on a false basis, due mainly 
to the fact that so much of mystery surrounds the 
attributes of sex, in the minds of young women in 
particular. Instead of instructing their daughters in 


40 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


all that pertains to sex, so as to impress them with 
the sacredness of the high offices of woman, mothers 
withhold all information and so surround love and 
marriage with a mystery that is discussed, particu- 
larly by immature girls, in secret conferences and in 
the dark hours. 

Other things in this connection rush to the point 
of my pen, but I must leave them for a later letter. 
Regarding another meeting, I scarcely know what 
to say. My itinerary is mapped out for the next 
three months and it carries me almost to the Pacific 
Coast. After that I do not know where I shall be, 
but since you wish it, I will ask that a brief rest 
period be allowed me, and you can join me at the 
home of my Aunt Emily De Forrest, at 5025 The 
Avenue, South, Paris, Illinois. 

You speak of being ‘‘absorbed in business,’’ and I 
want to tell you, before closing, that my admiration 
for your success, as I learned of it in San Antonio, 
is very great. Next to the traits that go to make up 
a fine Christian character, women admire business 
sense in men. Upon inquiry I found that you had 
made your money legitimately, and that was all I 
wanted to know. I have given myself absolutely to 
my work, without any thought of a financial return, 
but I have come to feel that it is right that young 
people should invest their earliest years in the acquir- 
ing of a competency, so that, when they reach their 
mental prime, they can preach, teach, or do anything 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


41 


they like without being dependent upon a salary for 
a support. They could accomplish more, in a few 
years, in this way, I believe, than they could in a life- 
time empty handed. To be sure there would be the 
objection that one would become so fascinated with 
money making that he could not change to direct 
Christian work, but this is not true. Those who 
would really be capable of advancing a good 
cause would find their niche. I once thought it 
was selfish to make money, but it cannot be selfish 
to do anything that puts one in a position to more 
greatly help his fellowmen. The thing that is 
wrong is in selfishly using the money after it is 
made. Then one needs money to thoroughly pre- 
pare himself for life’s duties. Very early in my 
work I met a clergyman, a man of seventy, whose 
virility was still unimpaired, and he urged me to 
spend more time in preparation and less in work. 
Said he: ‘Tf I had my life to live over again, and 
knew that God would give me seventy purposeful 
years, I would spend sixty of it in preparation for 
work during the remaining ten.” 

Trusting that your wealth and all your talents may 
be fully consecrated to the work of helping the world 
Godward, which is the only great work, I am, 

Ever interestedly yours, 

Helen E. Davenport. 


42 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


“Hotel Brazos/’ Houston^ Texas^ 

March 24, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

You are giving me so much to think about these 
days I do not know whether I shall be capable of 
digesting it all, but I am delighted to find myself 
rising to meet you in all the advanced thinking of 
the present time. 

I wish I might have begun these studies earlier, 
but you are so good as to find, not only excuses for 
my lack of knowledge regarding the moral progress 
of the world, but also actual admiration for my busi- 
ness career, which has made me appear so unedu- 
cated in other ways. How lovely of you! And 
sensible, too, of course, it seems to me, for while 
money is not everything, there is very little of even 
opportunity for us without it. At any rate, one who 
could do wonderful things without it could do even 
more wonderful things with it. 

To prove to you that I am not wedded to business, 
I am willing to put all my interests into the hands of 
my capable assistants any day you name in order that 
I may see more of you and study the laws of our 
being. I feel as though I were just beginning to 
live, and I am truly thankful that I shall not be ham- 
pered in attaining to my ideals because of lack of 
funds. 

You have had so much larger opportunity to study 
people than have I, that I cannot question anything 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


43 


you say regarding conditions, though what you re- 
late is shocking in the extreme. I have known of 
the existence of some of these things, but it had never 
occurred to me that the marriage altar was the place 
where so many men and women sign their own 
“death warrants,” and the “death warrants” of their 
children. I hope the time may speedily come when 
they may be restrained by love, if not by law. 

I am a great admirer of children, and I can find 
no words to express my feelings when I think of 
even one little innocent being turned away by its 
mother, in the fashion you name. “Is it possible,” I 
said to myself as I read; “can any woman be so ut- 
terly devoid of the maternal instinct as to dislike her 
own offspring?” Surely she is unworthy, not only 
the name of mother, but of woman, also. The mater 
in the brute creation has finer feeling than that ! As 
I have before said, I do not doubt your word, and I 
assure you I deplore conditions as much as yourself 
— that is, if that is possible, with my limited knowl- 
edge — and I rejoice that even a few are courageous 
enough to speak out no matter what the cost. 

Organizations for the elevation of the race have 
had little support from a vast multitude of good peo- 
ple, probably, chiefly because they, like myself, are 
uninformed, and the influences that could give them 
“an arrest of thought” do not reach them. I do not 
refer to society people, of course, but to leading 
members of the church, who are unidentified with 


44 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


temperance, missions and other philanthropies. 
Seems to me it is they who must be, converted first, 
before those who are living sinful, dual lives can be 
reached. 

Regarding the matter of the failure of mothers to 
instruct their daughters in all that pertains to the 
preparation for wifehood and motherhood, as you 
say, it is strange that such false ideals obtain in this 
realm. Woman wa^ created for the high and holy 
oMces of wife and mother, and for this alone, yet 
not one girl in ten thousand has passed beyond the 
“a b c’s’' of her education for this position. Is not 
this one place where “the old man'’ and “the new 
woman" could agree ? Would they not both say that 
girls should be trained for their specific vocation first, 
their education in the arts and sciences to be a sec- 
ondary consideration only? 

You speak in your letter of “woman's industrial 
emancipation," so you may not agree with me when 
I assert that woman should have no calling save that 
of homemaking; but I could not be true to you and 
to my convictions without telling you, now the sub- 
ject is under consideration, just what I think. My 
memories of your public addresses, however, reas- 
sure me that even here our ideals are the same. A 
few, like yourself, must be sacrificed on the platform, 
before the adjustment day can come, and possibly 
vast numbers of women — mothers — must die in the 
“sweatshops." This, I believe, is your thought, for 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


45 


while the unsympathetic and falsely informed say 
the new woman desires her industrial and political 
freedom that she may be independent of marriage, 
you have taught me that she covets them in order 
that she rnuy he independent of undesirable mar- 
riage, only. If you can tell me that I have made 
the proper discrimination, I shall begin to think that 
our spirits were created akin. Please hasten to give 
me the assurance. 

I am very happy to know that we may meet again 
after three months, though in my impatience I 
would say I wish it were three days. You can for- 
give a would-be lover’s impatience though, can’t 
you, when you have overlooked other and more 
flagrant faults? 

Believing this fully, I am 

Ever faithfully yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Omaha, Neb., 

April lo, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald: 

It gives me great pleasure to ‘‘hasten to assure” 
you, for when you say you have come to understand 
that “woman desires her political and industrial 
freedom in order that she may be independent of 
undesirable marriage only,” you make the very finest 
discrimination I ever heard on the subject. In all 
my efforts to explain “the reason why,” I am sure I 


46 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


have never coined a sentence that is so comprehen- 
sive as this. It exactly expresses my mind on the 
subject, and the fact that you have divined it; that 
you are now intuitively reading the new thought of 
woman, encourages me, too, to hope that ‘^oulr 
spirits were created akin.” 

I know ‘'the old man,” while he would agree with 
me, as you say, in some matters, would not expect 
me to express a hope like this, but I could never see 
why a woman should always hide her feelings while 
"a man pins his faith to his sleeve,” and I feel sure 
that you are beyond this “grade” in your new “na- 
ture studies.” 

Shall I tell you a little more of my soul’s ideals? 
As a result of the awakening that came to me a few 
years ago, I gave up all thought of marriage, not be- 
cause I preferred to do so, but because, as I think I 
have before explained to you, I did not believe I 
should find any one between whom and myself the 
full trinity of love could exist. I am not averse to 
marriage ; indeed I recognize it as the only true state, 
and perfectly realize that she who misses “the crown 
of motherhood” misses by far the most beautiful 
thing in life. So — I say to you candidly, L shall re- 
joice if our Father calls me, through you, to wom- 
an’s highest office, for the supreme desire of my soul 
is for motherhood ; to be able to press to my bosom a 
bright, beautiful baby that is my very own. It is on 
the subject of marriage and motherhood that women 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


47 


in public life have been most grossly misunderstood. 
They, above all others, appreciate and desire these 
things. What they are weary of is bearing sons 
for the saloon, the gambling house, the brothel, and 
for that relic of barbarism — war ; and daughters for 
drunkards’ wives and dens of vice. You have said 
so much in appreciation of maternity I think you 
cannot misunderstand nor upbraid me for express- 
ing myself so frankly. Indeed your last letter made 
me feel that you desired me to express myself on the 
subject and I certainly think it is the most important 
matter for discussion between prospective lovers. I 
should not disappoint you in this. There are, how- 
ever, many other disclosures and discoveries for us 
to make, so I must not allow hope to grow too large. 

To return to the subject of woman’s enfranchise- 
ment, you know in the days when there was nothing 
woman could do but cook, spin, weave and sew, and 
these had no market value, she was obliged to marry 
for a support. There was no other alternative. By 
refusing to do so, she became the household drudge, 
the scarcely less than slave of the entire relationship. 
To be sure the support meant often merely enough to 
eat and an occasional calico gown; but it offered her 
a sort of a place to abide, and that was deemed better 
than no abiding place at all. 

Can we wonder, when we think of all this, that a 
fanatic ( ?) was born one day, who dared predict the 
emancipation of her sex, and who was, herself, brave 


48 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


enough to be immolated upon the altar of the proph- 
ecy? All hail to the spirit of our late, lamented 
leader, the Hon. Susan B. Anthony. Our present 
possibilities are due to her achievement, for to-day 
any young woman, who is sensible enough, can re- 
fuse to marry a young man who does not represent 
her ideals, for every avenue of usefulness is open to 
her. Can we foresee the far-reaching results of this 
great social change? For one thing it is going to 
mean that young women will make the same demands 
of young men that young men have been making of 
them. The lover has been accustomed to ask his 
sweetheart — has your life been perfectly chaste? 
The sweetheart, by reason of her present independ- 
ence, may now with perfect boldness, in turn, ques- 
tion her lover : ''Are you as pure as you expect me to 
be?” 

In times past mothers have been, in some measure, 
at least, responsible for the double standard of 
morals, but the future will certainly lay upon young 
women the duty to effect the change. Since their 
position is so much freer than their mothers I can 
easily believe that all they will need is arousing to the 
strength of their vantage ground. 

Tennyson 

"Saw a vision of the ages and the wonders yet to 
be,” 


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49 


and evidently not the least of these w^onders 
will be a v irtuou s manhood — a manhood made 
virtuous by woman’s financial independence and 
persuasive demands. When the time comes that 
women marry for one reason only — love — a de- 
sire • for honorable companionship and maternity, 
gladly will they cease to be competitors with men in 
the trades and professions and go back to the home, 
and what a happy day that will be ! 

Let me outline my thought again more concisely : 
yesterday woman was man’s chief servant — ^his 
cook, his laundress, his nurse, his complement, but 
on a low plane. To-day she is half his antagonist, a 
warrior on the opposite side, an ego refusing ma- 
ternal cares. To-morrow she will be his business 
partner — that is, as advisory — his companion and 
friend, his homemaker, the willing mother of his 
children, though she agrees to be only half their 
teacher and moral guide. Perhaps to-day’s strained 
conditions had to be in order to bring about the 
beautiful to-morrow. 

Reading between the lines you must see from this, 
if you were not already convinced, that I perfectly 
agree with you when you say that ‘Voman was 
created for the high and holy offices of wife and 
mother and for these alone.” There is no doubt in 
my mind but that the design of the Creator was that 
she should have no calling save that of homemaking, 
and I know it is the one paramount wish of all true 


50 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


reformers that woman should have opportunity to 
be and do just that. She should occupy such an 
exalted position as a queen, however, and not as a 
squaw, and to this end she should have a broad edu- 
cation first, the special training for her ^'specific voca- 
tion,” a postgraduate course. 

What has stung the progressive woman most 
keenly is that men of the old school have thought 
she should have gone on accepting the conditions 
of medieval ages, and accusing her of making mat- 
ters worse by her efforts to elevate her sex. We are 
“out of our sphere,” they say. Like the Hon. Sam 
Jones, I think, there is one time only — under exist- 
ing conditions — when a woman is “out of her 
sphere,” and that is when she takes in washing to 
support a drunken husband. 

I cannot tell you how I long to see all these things 
righted ; how I long to help bring about a better un- 
derstanding between young men and women; a 
diviner understanding of their privileges and duties. 
To educate the fathers and mothers of to-morrow 
up to a high ideal of the home life, would mean to 
revolutionize society quicker than it could be done 
in any other way, for everything depends upon the 
quality of the home life. 

I, too, am glad we are to meet before long, and I 
promise not to delay the day unnecessarily. You cer- 
tainly have, given me sufficient proof of the fact that 
you are not so engrossed in business that you cannot 


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51 


turn to a work that looks to the moral uplift of the 
world, and I rejoice in this. 

So far, it seems to me, our awakened lives have 
been running in parallel lines and this is all we need 
to know. 

Yours, in the hope that they will thus continue, 
Helen E. Davenport. 

"‘La Planta Farm/" 

April 15, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport : 

My heart went out to you by leaps and bounds, as 
I read your recent letter. To know that you unite 
your hopes with mine, the hope that our Father is 
preparing us for a great work together, made it seem 
as though I walked on air. 

That night I first saw you before a public audi- 
ence, I thought you admirable in the extreme, but 
now I understand that then I beheld the mere 
shadow only of the gracious personality that was to 
be revealed to me ; then I learned, for the first time, 
that the new woman — the real nezu zmnian — was 
worthy of respect; now I know that she is worthy 
of the highest homage the world can give; that she 
is as superior to the old type as gold is superior to 
brass ; as much more valuable to society as diamonds 
are more precious than gold. 

I believe now, too, that the reason I could not ad- 
mire the young women whom I met in society was 


52 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


because I was to be saved for a higher ideal. Do 
you not think God keeps us, if we ask Him, from 
forming wrong alliances? Few trust Him, or con- 
sult Him in such matters, hence so many misfits. I 
have made this more a subject of prayer than I have 
any other interest of my life, and I do not believe He 
is going to disappoint me. 

I greatly enjoyed your brief outline of the evolu- 
tion of women in recent years, and believe with you 
that the changes that have been going on will con- 
tinue until she comes to her rightful inheritance. I 
did not reason it out fully at the time you led me to 
see why woman wants the franchise, and all the priv- 
ileges that would subsequently be hers, that the se- 
curing of them meant that h^ n^t desire wo^d be 
to go back to the home, but it dawned upon me as 
I read your last letter that this would be but the 
logical result. You see I am wholly converted to the 
new ideal; yes, pocketbook and all, which is the su- 
preme test, is it not? Seriously, Miss Davenport, I 
would not use the financial help I could give to in- 
fluence you in your decision regarding our possible 
union, if I could, but if the results of our investiga- 
tions terminate as we both hope they may, you shall 
surely draw upon my bank account for any sum you 
wish in forwarding your great work. 

And now, how can I find words adequate to ex- 
press my appreciation of that portion of your letter 
in which you refer to the deepest longings of your 


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53 


woman’s soul! ‘Ts this the new woman?” I said 
over and over. The new woman! The type that 
we have been denouncing as caring neither for home 
nor for motherhood I How ashamed I feel and how 
humiliated should every man be who has added to 
the misunderstanding of her and her mission ! 

I know no words meaningful enough to convey to 
you the admiration — yes, adoration of my manhood, 
for a young and beautiful woman, who has been ap- 
plauded by the multitude, and who could, no doubt, 
go on and up, until she reached the highest offices 
and honors in the gift of a great worldwide society, 
who says practically : ‘T would give it all, if only I 
might, without lowering my ideals, look into the 
face of a bright, beautiful baby that was my very 
own.” It is past all understanding by those who 
have not entered into the new world of thought; it 
would have been incomprehensible to me six months 
ago, if it had come indirectly, and without being ac- 
companied by the touch of your nonesuch loveliness 
and power. 

I never coveted the gift of a ready writer as I do 
now. Oh, for language rich enough to express the 
emotion of my soul 1 To me, a young wife who pur- 
posely, intelligently, lovingly plans for fulfilling in 
such a high and holy sense the design of her Creator 
is akin to the Madonna, is a Madonna in fact, with a 
halo about her head. I kneel to her, I kneel to her 
in reverence and love. In your interpretations of the 


54 an up-to-date COURTSHIP. 


new woman you reach the climax here, as, indeed, 
this should be the climax of every woman’s life. 

Society never taught me anything like that. Miss 
Davenport. In society I learned, somehow, that a 
desire for motherhood was the very least of young 
women’s desires ; that they, in fact, wished to escape 
it, and would plan any way, legitimately or other- 
wise, to do so. What a contrast is now presented to 
my mind! And how my respect for the one class 
increases, while it decreases for the other class ! The 
two are in the same ratio exactly, that is, the law of 
the proportions is the same. You cannot see the 
two pictures as I do, but I dare say the differences are 
as strongly marked in my mind, as the differences 
between a man of the highest moral honor and a 
libertine are in yours. 

In your next will you not outline, complete, your 
ideal husband? You will forgive me if my anxiety 
to know all the possible things that could stand be- 
tween us seems too great. I feel as though I were 
on trial for my life, and that the judge, while most 
generous and sympathetic, would have to be just, 
too; that is, just to herself and her children, and 
that might leave me out. 

I must not fail to thank you for the cordial com- 
pliment in your letter. If I were fortunate in one of 
my definitions of women of your type, I am certainly 
glad, especially if it commends me to you. 

With a feeling that I have not half expressed my 


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55 


admiration for you, but with most happy anticipa- 
tions of the promised visit, and with a strangely ap- 
preciative interest in you. 

I am, ever yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Topeka, Kansas. 

April 28, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald : 

Your expressed appreciation of my desire for 
motherhood is the most beautiful thing I ever read ! 
A young woman who regards maternity as her high- 
est privilege, and who looks upon life as incomplete, 
or only half lived, without it, is, to you, “ 3 . Madonna, 
with a halo about her head.” It is exquisitely beau- 
tiful, a classic, truly, and I shall certainly see that it 
is preserved. Other things being equal, a loving, 
purposive young woman could undoubtedly trust her 
happiness to you. You say I have a large duty to 
perform in bringing young women up to my ideals 
of love and marriage; is it not possible that you, 
also, are responsible for the education of your sex 
along these same lines? There are many sons, of 
course, who have respect deep and true for mother- 
hood, but unless I am incapable of interpreting the 
thoughts and acts of young men in general, much 
the larger proportion of them still accept the old 
pagan idea of the inferiority of woman. If they 
do not look upon her as a household drudge, they 


56 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


regard her in the light of a toy; a plaything; a 
something to be petted and fed sweets, so you see 
there is a great opportunity for work here. To take 
young men who have advanced thus far only from 
the savage, and put them into a world where women 
occupy the exalted position which they occupy in 
your mind, would be almost an incomparable work. 

I have deplored the fact so much that there are so 
few young men — Christian workers — who are mak- 
ing a specialty of teaching sex laws and the import- 
ance of personal purity to growing boys. Once in 
a great while we hear of an evangelist holding a 
meeting “for men only,’’ during the course of a re- 
vival, and occasionally a pastor makes such meetings 
a part of his local work; but if there is more than 
one place — a school in Oklahoma — where any real, 
definite and systematic plans for the sex education of 
the fathers of to-morrow are carried out, by teach- 
ers, pastors, Y. M. C. A. workers or others, I do 
not know it. Isn’t the field of usefulness large? The 
intelligent youth who would do good sees so many 
open doors, he scarcely knows which to enter, yet 
there are those who think every avenue of useful- 
ness is closed to them, and every place of possible 
business success filled. When you retire from active 
farm work there will be such a multitude of things 
that you can do, with your money, talents and influ- 
ence, but your last letter leads me to feel that you 
should first consider the matter of the moral eleva- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 57 


tion of young men. Probably the leading step in 
this direction would be to woo them to the farm, and 
if so you would find yourself again in a realm where 
you are king. Farm life is unattractive to most 
young men, but it seems to me a wide knowledge of 
your success would send a host of them right to the 
frontier. Sometime, when you feel like it, please 
tell me all about how you began your work. 

Your assertion that Mrs. Macdonald should have 
free access to your bank account is just what one 
might expect of you after all the other things you 
have said. If a man’s character were not above re- 
proach or I did not find between him and myself the 
affinity that would guarantee perfect happiness, his 
money would have no influence over me whatever; 
but if, on the other hand, my would-be ‘‘king of a 
beautiful realm called home” owned large estates, 
which he had come into possession of honestly, I 
should be most grateful and happy, for I do love the 
beautiful for myself, as well as having a strong de- 
sire to take it to others. A home filled with good 
books and adorned with the paintings, statues, and 
other things that inspire, refine, and exalt the 
thought and life, in every sense, I frankly acknowl- 
edge that I covet. I do not want it for myself alone, 
however; such a home can be a veritable beacon 
light in the community in which it stands, and I 
should expect mine to be such. I could never be ex- 
clusive, if I had a lovely home, but when festivals 


58 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


were to be observed, should invite the poor and illit- 
erate as well as the educated and refined. Here is a 
new test for you; can you meet me in it? I know it 
is not in harmony with your training, and perchance 
you may feel that your home would be too sacred a 
place to which to invite the unkempt. Give me your 
thought in this. 

You ask if I do not believe, if we make it a sub- 
ject of prayer, that God keeps us from forming 
wrong alliances. I certainly do. Here is the as- 
surance in language most beautiful. “He shall give 
His angels charge concerning thee, to keep thee in 
all thy ways.’’ The difficulty is that young people, 
even Christian young people, do not consider this one 
of the “ways” in which He can and will aid them. 
Like yourself, I long ago put the matter into His 
hands, and my faith in His promises is very great. 

On re-reading your letter I find that I have failed 
to answer what to you, no doubt, is its most vital 
part ; namely, to give you a description of my ideal 
husband, but my time is now too limited to under- 
take so important a sketch. I must leave it for a 
more convenient season. 

I want to say to you in this connection, however, 
that I believe you have exactly summed up the young 
women in society when you say you think their one 
ambition, even when they first begin to contemplate 
marriage, is to escape the duties and responsibilities 
of maternity. There can be but little doubt that this 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


59 


is true, and in discerning it you again prove your- 
self a very close student of character. When one 
remembers the failure of mothers to present sex 
truths to their daughters’ minds in a beautiful, sacred 
way, perhaps it is not so much to be wondered at, 
yet it is difficult, too, to understand how any young 
woman — especially one educated and refined — even 
though she grew up with perverted ideals, can help 
changing them after marriage; can possibly come 
into the new relationship without desiring mother- 
hood. It always seemed to me that with any other 
ideals the relationship must be repulsive in the ex- 
treme to woman, and that to try to reconcile her con- 
science to any other course, would be to sacrifice all 
that subtle influence that is so ennobling to those 
with whom she comes in touch. Of course^ I think 
a woman should he the monitor of her own procrea- 
tive possibilities — even as are the less sensitive kine 
and other of the lower orders of animals — but for 
her to accept marriage, and then refuse the highest 
office to which marriage calls her, is altogether in- 
excusable, and strangely unworthy of cultured wom- 
anhood. 

You can easily see that this condition is just in 
line with the other things, pertaining to sex, about 
which we have been conferring. It is not easy to 
comprehend, is it? why the ''Creator of all things” 
chose to make the road to the perfecting of the race 
so long. The advanced thinkers of one generation 


6o AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


must struggle and suffer and die, before the ideals 
for which they stood are woven into the warp and 
woof of society, but fortunately the weaving is go- 
ing on continuously, and by and by we shall attain 
to His ideals for us. I should like to have lived a 
hundred years hence; yet it is a glorious privilege 
to be living to-day, if one is in the forefront of the 
battle for righteousness. 

Promising to reply to other points of your letter 
soon, and in a growing hope and faith that our souls 
are closely related, 

I am truly and appreciatively yours, 

Helen E. Davenport. 

‘Ta Planta Farm/^ 

May 4, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport : 

Your delightful letter is at hand, but before I an- 
swer it I have a bit of news for you, which, I am 
sure, will make you most happy. Yesterday, my 
friend, Edwin Somerville — a friend of high-school 
days — came out to “La Planta Farm’' to see me on a 
little matter of business, and I persuaded him to re- 
main over night. After dinner we adjourned to my 
“den” and shut ourselves up for an old time visit, 
and in the course of the conversation he referred to 
your lectures here, and said he did not believe any 
one had ever done as much good in the community 
as you; that both the young men and the young 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


6i 


women were still talking about you, and that the 
more they talked the larger their appreciation of the 
sentiments you expressed became. You may be sure 
that I added emphasis to every point, and it would 
not surprise me if clubs for special study were the 
result. He said this not knowing that I had any par- 
ticular interest in you, which shows what a lasting 
impression you made upon his mind, too. My own 
admiration for you grew stronger as he talked, for 
I realized more fully what an enormous amount of 
good you have done. 

‘‘What would it mean to a fdlow to have such a 
young woman for a wife?” Edwin said. To this my 
heart responded in beats almost loud enough for him 
to hear, but instead of replying directly, I said: 
“Do you feel that you would be worthy of such a 
wife, Edwin?” (I had heard that he had been liv- 
ing a fast life since I had known much of him, and 
was so glad for an opportunity to talk to him about 
it.) He sat grave and silent for a while, and then 
followed the recital of a chapter in the history of the 
young man^s life, when he was induced, through 
the influence of evil associates, to visit the brothel, 
the gambling house, and all the dark places of sin. 
He had “reformed, though.” “But,” I said, “Edwin 
would you accept a reformed young woman for a 
wife?” Of course he was quite shocked at such a 
suggestion as that, but before we retired, which was 
not till the “wee sma’ ” hours of the night, I had 


62 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


him admitting that that was the only sort to which 
he was entitled ; that he had no right to ask a young 
woman whose blood was pure, to accept for the 
father of her children one who had ever been a 
patron of the scarlet house. I think you can see 
from this outline the entire drift of our conversa- 
tion, and know all the good I attempted to do. You 
will note, too, that I have taken advantage of the 
first opportunity after the receipt of your letter to 
speak to young men on the subject of sex. Nor 
was it difficult to do, for my sympathies certainly 
went out to young Somerville, as I recalled how 
little was done, by even parents, to save young men 
from such a course, and how manifold were the in- 
ducements to follow it. This is another one of the 
conditions in society that is ‘^passing strange,” isn’t 
it ? How fathers can allow their sons to come to and 
pass the most critical period in their development, 
without informing them of its significance, is more 
that I can understand. They are no less respon- 
sible than mothers for the morals of future genera- 
tions. 

My one experience has given me a real heart hun- 
ger to save boys from personal vice, and all its at- 
tendant evils, and if you will help me to determine 
how money can best be used to reach large numbers, 
I will devote a considerable sum to work in that way, 
as well as continue to do personal, hand to hand 
work as opportunity offers. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 63 


It is natural, is it not? that that never to be for- 
gotten night in my study, with poor Edwin Somer- 
ville, should call to mind my own boyhood, and 
make me wonder, as never before, how it was that 
I was saved from the fate of the average young man. 
It was not because I was less susceptible, at that age, 
to evil influences, I am perfectly confident of that; 
no, it must have been because the evil influences did 
not reach me. My father and mother never talked 
to me about sex laws — doubtless the suggestion that 
it was their duty to do so never came to them — but 
it is dawning upon me now that they did daily confer 
as to how they could keep untainted the atmosphere 
which I breathed. For instance, when a boy was 
invited to spend a night with me — which invitation 
was never extended without my mother’s knowledge 
and consent — I remember that he was not permitted 
to occupy a room with me, but was always sent to 
one of the guest chambers to sleep instead; and I 
was allowed to visit in homes only where such rules 
were observed. The same care was exercised in the 
case of my sister, Frances, too. You see I am just 
now studying this all out. 

I can see also that the day when I would go away 
from home to college would be the next most anx- 
ious time, and I am inclined to think now that my 
securing the sort of a roommate I did was not 
chance at all, but was the result of their very careful 
planning, for I recall the fact that father always 


64 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


went with me ; that we went considerably in advance 
of the opening days, and that he was often in con- 
sultation with the president and others. They cer- 
tainly lived up to their convictions of duty, and you 
may be sure that I shall hasten to speak to them 
concerning it, and thank them for their foresight and 
care. How proud and grateful I am that I had such 
parents ! 

Now, to answer your letter : The first question is 
in regard to my business career, I believe. When, 
at the age of twenty-one, I returned, finally, from 
college, a post-graduate course at the Texas Indus- 
trial University, my father gave me a section of land 
lying about five miles south of the city of San An- 
tonio. He gave me also enough money to begin its 
development, but he had no idea what I would do, 
and made no suggestions, concluding, I suppose, that 
it would be wiser to let my own Individuality assert 
itself than to try to prejudice me in favor of this 
or that. 

The entire country had been, up to this time, as 
you know, 1890, a vast cattle range, but I had been 
studying it from the standpoint of its possibilities as 
a farming district, and determined at once to try it. 
I cleared one hundred and sixty acres and began ex- 
perimenting. Being a college man, I was able to 
analyze the different soils and to determine what 
they required in the way of fertilizers to make them 
bring to perfection any particular kind of vegetable 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 65 


or fruit. These studies and experiments were con- 
tinued for three years, and at the expiration of that 
time, on my third crop, which was diversified, but 
was mainly of Bermuda onions, netted twenty thou- 
sand dollars. This was so much more than my most 
sanguine hopes had pictured and the work had been 
so congenial and healthful, that I immediately de- 
cided to enlarge my plans and make farming my vo- 
cation. As rapidly as it could be cleared, the entire 
section was brought under cultivation, about half of 
it being set to Bermuda onions, and the other half, 
minus the grounds surrounding the home, a grove, a 
pasture, nearby, and the village in which my assist- 
ants live, being devoted to water melons, cantaloupes, 
celery, tomatoes, cabbages, cucumbers, and such 
kinds of garden stuff as go into the northern markets 
in winter. It sounds almost incredible, but the seventh 
year my farm brought me nearly fifty thousand dol- 
lars, and the tenth, I realized sixty thousand. Of 
course, my force of men is very large, and making 
provision of their shelter reduced my profits greatly 
the first years, but I clear now, in round numbers, 
after paying large salaries to several capable over- 
seers, fully seventy-five thousand dollars annually, 
the major part of this surplus being devoted to 
the purchase of more of these rich lands in “The 
Great Southwest,” which I hope to see devel- 
oped some day by other young men as ambitious 
as I. 


66 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


This, briefly, is the ‘‘story,’’ up to date, of my busi- 
ness life of fifteen years. I am happy in believing 
that it will sound attractive to you, inasmuch as you 
have expressed your appreciation of concentration 
in business and “have a desire to surround yourself 
with the refining things of life, as well as to give to 
others.” I am most anxious that you should see my 
bachelor quarters at the farm, and sincerely wish 
that your work might bring you this way again. 
Of course, the “bungalow” is not as large as it would 
needs be, if “Milady” presided over it, but I think 
you w'ould say the grounds are lovely in the extreme. 

Referring again to “Mrs. Macdonald’s access to 
my bank account,” I should like to change the singu- 
lar possessive pronoun to the plural. You see it 
would not then be my bank account, but ours. If 
“Her Ladyship” preferred, however, she could have 
a definite sum set aside for her exclusive use, and 
deposited in her name alone. 

Have I recognized all the points of your letter? 
No, I recall one more, at least, namely that with ref- 
erence to the inclusiveness of your heart when it 
would com.e to the matter of entertaining. Natural- 
ly, I will have to admit, that it would be my disposi- 
tion to want to limit the guests at the home to the 
educated and the refined, but I realize that that 
would not be in harmony with the spirit of the 
Master, whose we are and whom we serve, so I 
would “meet you” in this, and gladly 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 67 

Looking forward with unusual interest to the re- 
ceipt of your next, I am, 

Very hopefully yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Denver^ Colorado. 

May 14, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald : 

Thank you so very much for your last letter. I 
comprehend now why you were not ‘‘better in- 
formed regarding the moral progress of the world,” 
as you have put it. What an unparallelled amount 
of work you have done, and what marvelous concen- 
tration! As I have said before, of another trait of 
yours, it is admirable in the extreme. Little wonder 
you have not been tempted to break pledges, nor de- 
bauch your manhood in any way ! Such hard work 
and concentration for fifteen years would keep, 
morally, for the remainder of life, a young man from 
state’s prison ! What would it not do for one whose 
early environment was so good? Your parents are 
certainly to be honored for safeguarding your boy- 
hood’s life well, and I trust you will make haste to 
express to them your appreciation of the same. I 
doubt not that your conjectures regarding the rea- 
sons why they did such and such things are correct, 
and it was a very big step in the right direction. 

What do you know of the genealogy of your fam- 
ily? The name “Macdonald,” of course, is Scotch. 


68 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


This is, in large measure, the blood in my veins, 
though my mother traced one side of her house back 
to Germany. 

The account of your work, and of your boyhood’s 
home life was of such interest to me, and no less 
appreciatively did I read of your ‘"lecture” that 
night in your study. How extraordinarily forceful 
your words; and your presence j since you spoke by 
example, as well as by precept ! Was it not Emer- 
son who said : “What you are thunders so loudly in 
my ears that I cannot hear what you sayf Mr. Ed- 
win heard what you said, no doubt, but I imagine it 
was the “what you are” that had such potent influ- 
ence over him. It is a great thing for a young man 
to admit that he is no better than the young woman 
whom he has betrayed. Society receives him just 
the same, while it forever locks its doors against his 
consort. The facts are, in ninety-nine cases out of 
a hundred, it is he who is the sinner, and who is a 
thousand times less worthy of further fellowship 
by “the four hundred.” Young women do not study 
the arts of deceiving, in these ways, and are not ag- 
gressive in sin until after they have been betrayed, 
and generally more than once. 

It is all right that you should have made the com- 
parisons you did in speaking to your friend ; that is, 
in getting him to admit that in the selection of a wife 
he was entitled to a reformed young woman only, but 
do you know, I cannot think that young men, or 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 69 


young women, either, who have lived immoral lives, 
at any rate who have prostituted their procreative 
powers to the extent of disease, are entitled to 
marry, since marriage is, primarily, for offspring. 
For two who have so wantonly betrayed their trust, 
to create another life — oh, it is too sacred an office 
— how dare they step there ! Can any one look into 
the face of a little child and not say: “Refuse all 
such the power of procreation; of invoking another 
life — an immortal soul.” 

There are, generally, exceptions to all rules, how- 
ever, and if you feel sure than your friend is thor- 
oughly made new ; that is that physicians can testify 
to the fact that his virility has came through the de- 
bauch unimpaired, and he honestly desires to lead a 
new life, I can recommend to him a young woman 
of unfortunate experiences; a mother, but not a 
wife. In my work for purity, it has been my happy 
privilege to save a number of girls from immoral 
lives, and among them is the one referred to, a girl 
to whom I am most strongly attached, for her soul 
is as pure as the air she breathes. No one could hear 
her life story and know her now and not entirely ex- 
onerate her for any sins she may have committed. 
Not being acquainted with Mr. Somerville, I could 
form no opinion, of course, as to whether they would 
be in any way suited to each other, but if you believe 
that he is worthy of such a young woman, I will 
open the way for a correspondence between them. 


70 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


I agree with you that it is just as much the duty of 
fathers to instruct their sons in sex development, and 
its significance, as it is mothers’ to teach their daugh- 
ters. I am greatly pleased to note that you find in 
your heart a desire to do some educational work 
along this line, and would suggest that you use your 
money to endow a “Chair of Sex” in one of our 
leading colleges. Perhaps your alma mater would 
accept it ; suppose you try her first, and if the propo- 
sition is not sympathetically received, we will in- 
vestigate the subject further and find one that will. 

So “Mrs. Macdonald” — if there is ever to be such 
a fortunate person — “is to have either her own bank 
account, or share equally the ‘master’s’.” I have 
always said I would never marry a man who would 
not give me “the half of his kingdom,” so the prom- 
ise of an equal division of your large income certainly 
does “sound attractive” to me, and I believe such 
honestly earned money would to any woman, for 
those who do not care for a superabundance to spend 
upon themselves like to have it to give to philanthro- 
py and missions. While my father makes a good 
living — he is a physician — there were never any 
extras for travel and other things of that sort, in 
the days when I was at home, so it seems wonderful 
to me to think of having an income each year of 
tens of thousands of dollars. One of the things that 
I have always treasured against men is their attitude 
toward their wives in money matters. Conditions 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


71 


are improving, but the average woman yet has no 
purse of her own, neither the privilege of drawing 
upon the bank account, when, if she has done her 
part faithfully, she has contributed as much toward 
creating the husband’s wealth as he has himself. 
In fact, I hold that the wife of a poor man, who 
raises a family, does more than her share, for no 
woman should, during the years she is engaged in 
rearing children, have any other responsibilities, and 
no other duties save the little, light, congenial tasks 
related thereto. No words sufficiently appreciative 
have ever been uttered; nothing half beautiful 
enough has ever been said of the dear, brave, selfless 
women — many such can be found, though not in so- 
ciety — who, knowing that they cannot have the care 
that is due them, nor the necessary help afterward in 
bearing the burdens, repeatedly, in answer to the 
call of maternal love, ‘Uo down into the valley of 
the shadow of death,” and my pen is not equal to 
the eulogy; no, on no subject would it so strangely 
fail. It is not necessary, however, to impress this 
upon you. I speak of it only that you may know 
how much your generosity toward your wife would 
help to make full her joy. 

I have said so much complimentary to your fine 
business qualities, you may have thought I did not 
fully see the larger man, but I do rest assured. The 
fineness of your spirit immeasurably surpasses all 
else. You reveal this when you speak of the cus- 


72 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


toms that shall prevail in your house relative to en- 
tertaining the '‘poor, the halt, the lame, and the 
blind,'' as well as the educated and refined. Truly, 
you have grown into a knight of the new chivalry : 
“A knight who reverences his conscience as his 
king; 

Whose glory is redressing human wrongs." 

I could not longer be in doubt. A beautiful home 
would be worthless to me unless^ the “knight" pos- 
sessed just such a spirit, but, possessing it, I should 
have my ideal. 

Inspired by the contents of your last letter, I have 
writtten at considerable length again without taking 
up the subject of my ideal husband. If you will 
pardon this I will make a special effort to write again 
to-morrow, and solely along this line. 

With admiration, deep and true, for your clean, 
forceful life, 

I am, most sincerely yours, 

Helen Estelle Davenport. 

Colorado Springs, Col., 

May 15, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald : 

I am very fortunately situated this afternoon for 
talking to you again, and it will give me great 
pleasure to try to draw the picture of my ideal hus- 
band which you have coveted so long; or, rather, 
write out the tests by which I would study him. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


73 


For convenience, and in order to get at the sub- 
ject as methodically as possible, I will divide it into 
distinct classifications, or heads. 

First, Christian Character. This topic is, of 
course, all inclusive of whatever constitutes, or con- 
tributes to, the moral excellence and perfect adorn- 
ment of the true gentlemen. I would, however, since 
many Christian young men have no conscience 
against some things which to me seem immoral, 
make the term to cover personal purity, the use of 
intoxicants, tobacco, profanity, slang and a high 
sense of honor in commercial relations. A young 
woman should know these things, and make them 
absolute^ before she encourages, in the least degree, 
the attentions of any would-be suitor. 

Second, Physical Fitness for Fatherhood. It 
seems unjust, perhaps, to frown upon a young man, 
figuratively speaking, who, because of no fault of his 
own, has pulmonary or some other incipient disease, 
but I believe it should be done. Not so quickly, you 
understand, would I turn a deaf ear to this class as 
I would to those who had brought on their own af- 
fliction through personal impurity or through asso- 
ciations that defile ; but I repeat, with emphasis, that 
even hereditarily diseased types should be rejected. 

Third, Ancestry. ‘The sins of the parents shall 
be visited upon the children, even unto the third and 
fourth generations.^' 

Is the young woman willing that the traits of the 


74 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


lover’s family shall be transmitted to her children? 
What kind of men have the young man’s forefathers 
been ; what kind of women the mothers ? There may 
not only be imbeciles, but idiots, lunatics and crim- 
inals in the relationship; is her mind wholly at ease 
regarding the reproduction of these? Dare she take 
any risks ? As Dr. Wood- Allen has said : ‘‘Concern- 
ing the inheritance which she can give, that is fixed ; 
it is beyond her power to alter, but it is her privilege 
to choose her children’s paternal ancestry, and no 
wise young woman will ignore it.” A young man 
has the same privilege, of course. The rules apply 
equally to either sex. 

Fourth, Temperament; which I will divide into 
Natural Bent and Acquired Habits. The traits 
classed under the former are of very great import- 
ance, since what is hereditary, or constitutional, is 
practically unalterable. The first illustration that 
comes to my mind is indolence. If a man lacks en- 
ergy, it simply cannot be educated into him. Under 
the latter head I would place order, neatness, etc. 
Insignificant things they might be considered by 
some, but to a nature well organized and thoroughly 
master of self, lack of order, or neatness, in a hus- 
band could cloud the sky continuously. I have known 
so small a thing — small from one standpoint — as a 
difference of opinion regarding whether the world 
were growing better or worse to create enough fric- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


75 

tion to take all the joy and beauty out of the home 
life. 

Young women must learn that in marrying a man 
they are taking him for just what he is, not for what 
he is to become. His traits and habits of life are 
fixed, and rarely is she able to alter them. How 
many times a young woman, who would have steeled 
her heart against a suitor that was wedded to his 
pipe, has married a man of violent temper, for in- 
stance, with the perfect belief that she could change 
him, only to find that her efforts irritated and en- 
raged him. 

Fifth, Business Sense. I should not demand 
money, but I should want proof that the man I was 
to marry had the ability to succeed, beyond medi- 
ocrity, in some field of business activity; should ex- 
pect him to be something of a leader in his chosen 
work. It may sound very sweet to a young man 
who has no money, and no ability to make any, to 
hear his betrothed say, 

‘T care not for riches, neither silver nor gold,” 

but when ‘"the rainy day” comes she is very likely to 
change her mind. 

Sixth, Social Spirit, or soul culture. To illus- 
trate: *^My Ideal Husband'' would lift his hat as 
graciously to a woman whom circumstances com- 
pelled to wash for a living as he would to the Pres- 
idenfs wife!! 


76 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


Now, this concludes the analysis in so far as I, 
personally, am able to study it out, but many disap- 
pointed wives tell me there is a seventh qualification, 
of great moment to woman, namely : Does the pro- 
fessed lover know how to lovef Woman loves to 
he loved, and when every question of morals is an- 
swered, it is this that she asks herself, for she knows 
that a man may possess all the points that go to make 
up an ideal character, and yet be utterly devoid of 
the ability to give appreciable expression to his love ; 
to keep alive the heart of his wife. This is evidently 
the reason why so many good men are rejected; the ^ 
reason why otherwise excellent husbands are super- 
seded in the wife’s affections by some worthless spec- 
imen of masculinity, for it is unfortunately true that 
oftimes those who have naught else to recommend 
them seem to have studied the art of lovemaking 
the more. I would not encourage a fawning, patron- 
izing attitude toward the wife — that would engen- 
der a contempt which a husband’s stoicism even 
could not foster — ^but a sincere, genuine and fre- 
quent expression of his admiration for and appre- 
ciation of her. Of course, I know that some to 
whom I might thus write would say : ‘Tt is wom- 
an’s duty to keep burning the fire on love’s altar,” 
but not so; man is the active spirit, the aggressive 
one, the lover, while it is woman’s jlace to be ten- 
derly responsive to him. 

I have wondered oftimes, as I have listened to 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


77 


some sensitive woman’s “tale of woe” regarding 
these things, whether the average man really can 
understand and sympathize with a woman; whether 
he is constituted so that he can comprehend and en- 
ter into the things that most concern her, but it can- 
not be that God intended that there should be any- 
thing inharmonious in the fitting of the two halves 
of the unit. No, it must mean simply that large num- 
bers of men are uneducated in these ways, just as 
they are uneducated in mathematics or in the 
etiquette of the drawing-room; that they make no 
intelligent study of expression in their relations with 
women, just as they make no intelligent study of 
tact or of the art of presenting themselves well in 
their business lives. 

There is more I might say, but methinks this will 
be quite sufficient. I hope you will not think me ab- 
surdly particular in attaching so much importance 
to the little traits, habits and sympathies of life. I 
have been forced to do it because I have seen so 
much unhappiness resulting from such apparently 
trifling things. 

In my public life I can be polite to all classes and 
all kinds of people, not having a particle of race pre- 
judice even in my heart, but when it comes to the 
close relationships, I am so sensitively organized that 
I cannot consider real friends those who do not ex- 
actly respond to the language of my soul, and in 
forming a relationship that was to be lifelong — 


78 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 

“Until death do us part” — 

I should be just careful enough to allow incompati- 
bility or lack of sympathy in the least matters 
to cause me to “keep on the even tenor of my 
way.” 

On a Santa Fe train, the other day, I sat behind 
a sixteen-year-old girl who declared to her com- 
panion over and over that she never intended to get 
married because she had seen too much of married 
life. Don’t you know her decision was not the re- 
sult of the outbreaking lawlessness in a few homes of 
which she knew, but was undoubtedly because of her 
knowledge of the large number of half-mated hus- 
bands and wives of her acquaintance? 

A friend used to tell a story of “a foolish young 
man” who broke his engagment because he noted 
that, in paring an apple, his fiancee cut it almost half 
away; but for my own part I would put a question 
mark after the adjective. The foolish one was both 
a student and a philosopher; he was far-sighted, 
long-headed. It was not that one act that influenced 
him so greatly, the point was that it was the key to 
both her character and her mother’s' training. The 
natural soil for such cultivation was there, and he 
was wise enough to see that when both heredity and 
environment had combined in producing such ideals 
there was no possibility of her changing, and he 
doubtless reasoned, and correctly so, that she who 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


79 

would waste an ounce in her girlhood would waste 
a pound as a wife. 

The writing of this letter has brought to my mind 
the fact that you and I have never talked of church 
relationships; but one of the first things I learned 
of you while I was in San Antonio was that you 
were a most consistent, loyal, and devoted member 
of the Presbyterian church, and as I was a Disciple, 
and believed in Christian union, it did not seem 
necessary to spend any time in discussing this point. 

Indeed, Mr. Macdonald, it does not seem to me 
necessary to discuss with you any of the points in 
this study, except those classed under the heads of 
^Temperament,” and possibly — what shall I call 
the last? — the ^'art of love-making.” I have done 
so only because you insisted upon it, for I was fully 
convinced, even before our correspondence began, 
that you would stand the severest moral tests to 
which you could be subjected. Had it not been 
so you would certainly never have known me, ex- 
cept as a public advocate of ^‘the woman’s cause.” 

This estimate of your character I received of 
course from my San Antonio host and hostess, Pro- 
fessor and Madam la Rose, than whom no one 
could have higher ideals. I reasoned that, if they, 
who knew you well, and with their exalted stand- 
ards, could say such good things of you, you were 
certainly worthy of any young woman’s friendship 
at least. 


8o 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


And let me assure you that Christian character 
such as the La Rose’s said you possessed is more 
beautiful in my eyes than any one’s genius has yet 
pictured. It would be entirely impossible for me 
to give you even a faint idea of my admiration for 
it. As well attempt to describe the perfume of the 
violet or mignonette. So, there remains for us only 
a study of temperaments, and for you to reveal to 
me the lover who knows how to love! 

Believing that you will be able to do this, I am 
Yours for the ideal in everything, 

Helen Estelle Davenport. 

‘ 'Cameron Court/^ 

San Antonio, 

May 20, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport : 

Knowing my appreciation of your philosophy in 
the past, I scarcely need tell you that I have thought 
of nothing save that contained in your last letter 
since the very moment it arrived. I think I under- 
stand it fully, too, but whether the ability to com- 
prehend your meaning proves me a connoisseur in 
the art of which you write, or even of being a stu- 
dent capable of learning, is something I cannot 
wholly divine, and regarding which I shall not be 
able to satisfy you until we have had days, and pos- 
sibly weeks, together. 

So I am doubly glad that the time draws near 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


8i 


when we may meet. Could you not have the time 
of your furlough extended and organize a house 
party, a European tour, or something of that sort ? I 
am not brave when it comes to enduring suspense 
in so important a matter, and now that I have pic- 
tured to myself a beautiful home presided over by 
a beautiful woman, who appeals to and quickens 
all my finer sensibilities, I cannot rest until I know 
whether I may build it or whether the sweet dream 
must vanish in air ; cannot be satisfied until we have 
had opportunity to fully determine all these small- 
er (?) things. You will know what you can and 
what you cannot do, of course, but I wish we might 
have a few weeks abroad. You could draw upon me 
for the funds, you know. 

Regarding the genealogy of my family, we have 
a complete tree, I believe, of the Macdonald's, and 
one also of my mother’s house. I am pure Scotch 
on both sides, though American born, and thor- 
oughly Americanized. This you will concede gives 
me about as good blood as can be found, and gives 
the additional advantages of an American training 
and business opportunity. 

I might add that the Macdonald’s are related to 
the nobility of Scotland, but I would place no stress 
upon this, for I know, in our country, there is no 
nobility save the nobility of character, and there 
should be none other anywhere. So quiet are my 
parents, the fact of this relationship has never been 


82 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


mentioned here, and is really unknown to any one in 
San Antonio. So far as I am informed, there are 
no insane, idiots, or criminals, in my family. 

As to your family, I could not indifferently say, 
as a lover of the olden times would chivalrously ( ?) 
do, that I do not care, for I, too, have a responsibility 
to my children ; but when I recall your classical fea- 
tures, and the beauty of your form and speech, I 
know that there must be behind you many genera- 
tions of goodness and grace. You will tell me all 
that you, yourself, would wish to know, and I will 
await your time. 

I scarcely know what to say regarding the health 
and sincerity, business and honor of Edwin Somer- 
ville. I believe he truly wants to lead a new life, 
but whether he has the power to do so, I cannot say. 
The first thing evil practices of any sort do is to 
weaken the will, you know. As I have said before, 
it was during our high-school days that we were 
friends, and it was after I went to college that he 
formed evil associations, so I cannot measure the 
strength of their influence over him. I will try to 
find out further concerning it and let you know. 

You are right, I think, as you always are in such 
matters, when you say reformed men and women 
should be denied parenthood. My education being 
more superficial along these lines, I cannot go at 
once to the depths of things when a subject is pre- 
sented to me, but since I do not have to reform,' 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 83 


simply form, my opinions, you will class me with 
‘'the elect/* I am sure. What proportion of young 
men do you suppose have the vain regrets of Edwin 
Somerville ? 

I am greatly pleased with your suggestion that 
the money I should like to devote to the saving of 
boys from personal vice be used to endow “a chair 
of sex*’ in some of our universities. I am not sure 
that Princeton would accept it, but I am confident 
that some of our colleges would, and I will begin 
investigations as soon as I can look into the sub- 
ject. 

What a variety of experiences you must have in 
your travels! It is an education which one can- 
not get in any other way, isn’t it. The announce- 
ment of the sixteen-year-old girl of whom you write 
is pathetic in the extreme, since it discloses so much 
of infelicity in married life. Doubtless she has seen 
enough to discourage her and, perchance, a part of 
it in her own home. If this is so, and she ever 
changes her mind, she will make a better wife than 
a girl who had not taken such serious note of it, 
but as a rule, it undoubtedly would be better, and 
safer, for young people to marry into families where 
the father and mother remained sweethearts through 
life. 

Concerning the lover who broke his engagement 
on discovering the improvident habits of his fiancee ; 
he did exactly right, though I dare say he was con- 


84 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


demned by many, if the circumstances were known, 
and in language loud and strong. His love was 
sane. There never was a more false impression ever 
gained credence than the old saying that ‘'Love is 
blind.” He saved himself a lifetime of worry and 
disappointment and saved her — well, she was not 
capable, so much does a little thing reveal, of mak- 
ing him, or any other ambitious young man happy, 
so she simply fell back to her place. When one has 
a good start in life, the extravagant habits of a wife 
do not impoverish the husband by any means, but, 
nevertheless, it would be an annoying, disappoint- 
ing discovery, because of what it would disclose of 
character in other ways. Do you understand me? 
I do not believe it possible that you could have such 
a trait, for it has other manifestations which I have 
had opportunity to note and have not found, but 
if I should discover it, my appreciation of you 
would correspondingly decrease. I cannot bear 
waste in any form; my whole nature is opposed 
to it. 

There are so many excellent points in your last 
two letters — points that make, not only the thought, 
but the sympathies expand — and nothing finer than 
what you classed under the head of “soul culture.” 
How ennobling the contemplation of the heart of 
the man, considering existing conditions in society, 
“who lifts his hat as graciously to a washwoman as 
he would to the President’s wife!” It must pecu- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 85 

liarly beautify the life of any one who sees, com- 
prehends and emulates his example. 

I am in an indescribably strange and appreciative 
mood to-night, Miss Davenport. If all the desires 
of my life were united in one supreme plea, they 
could not equal my longing to see you and learn my 
‘Tate.’* Hope whispers that “all is well”; that I 
shall be able to prove myself the lover ; that there is 
harmony in even the little traits and habits of life; 
but I cannot be content with hope, I must see you 
and know beyond the shadow of a doubt. 

Trusting that, in your next letter, you will see 
your way clear to set the exact time when I may 
visit you, 

I am very anxiously, but truly, yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

Salt Lake City. Utah^ 

May 27, 1906. 

Dear Mr. Macdonald : 

I cannot be indifferent to the expressed anxiety 
in your last letters relative to our next meeting, and 
am now happy to announce that I will see you at the 
home of my aunt, in Paris, Illinois, one week from 
next Wednesday, June 6. And I frankly confess 
that I, also, look forward to this visit with a 
quickening sense of appreciation of you, and of the 
possible new relationship. 

It does seem as though there is harmony in our 


86 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


souls’ language ; whether a perfect harmony we shall 
not be able to determine until we meet again; but 
somehow I do not much fear the little antagonisms, 
for you have bona fide culture, and bona fide culture 
puts everything petty under its feet. And I, while 
my early environment was not as good as yours, nor 
the provision for my college education, extended 
travel, and contact with the world, has, in large 
measure, at least, pruned my spirit and given me 
more than ordinary self control. 

I can certainly find no flaw in what you tell me 
of your ancestry, and am thankful that all possible 
barriers to our union in this important matter are 
removed — or rather that none ever did exist. Espe- 
cially am I pleased to have you emphasize the fact 
that you are an American. I have been in the homes 
of some exceptionally lovely Scotch and English 
gentlemen, but there are few husbands like our best 
American husbands — don’t forget that. 

The fact that your people are related to the no- 
bility of Scotland has no interest whatever for me. 
If you were Lord Macdonald — and you are more, 
for you are ‘'a prince of the true blood” — and sought 
my hand in marriage, I would turn you away as 
quickly, if I discovered any vicious traits or prac- 
tices, as though you were His Lordship’s valet or 
French chef. I trust this does not sound discour- 
teous to you. I am half ashamed that I have spoken 
so positively, but I have been so chagrined at the 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 87 


way some of our American girls have sold them- 
selves for titles that I cannot speak calmly of the 
matter at all. I have the full assurance, however, 
that you will understand me, for you, yourself, have 
declared that “there is no nobility save the nobility 
of character,” with which sentiment I exactly agree. 

Concerning my own ancestry, no one of my people 
has ever taken the trouble to trace and prepare a 
family tree, but I know that I am of English, Scotch- 
Irish, and German descent; that my forefathers 
came to this country because of their liberal views 
in religious matters, and that, for generations, they 
have been professional men, educators, clergymen, 
doctors, lawyers, etc. I know, too, that they have 
always stood for civic reform ; for reform in fact in 
both church and state. My father, for a long time, 
was the only prohibitionist in Paris, but, although 
he was terribly boycotted in consequence, it did not 
affect his devotion to principle at all. The Daven- 
port’s have never been rich, but perhaps have pos- 
sessed more than ordinary culture. Father tells 
me I need have no fear of transmitting insanity, 
idiocy, or criminality, so you, too, can rest secure 
on that point. 

I told you the apple paring story only to draw 
you out and to convince you that apparently small 
things could mean a great deal. I feared you might 
think me too particular altogether when I insisted 
upon placing so much stress on little habits and 


88 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


differences of opinion. It is strange, but probably 
no discussion could have been brought forward that 
would have appealed so similarly to our senses, for 
wastefulness causes me actual pain. If I were the 
wife of the richest man in the world, not so much 
as a piece of bread should be thrown away with my 
consent. 

What proportion of young men do I think are too 
self-respecting to debauch their manhood? In my 
early girlhood I had my opinion of the habits of the 
young men of my acquaintance, and I dare say I 
could make a fairly good guess, but the proportion 
is so small, I scarcely dare allow myself to think of 
it. Possibly one in ten. I feel sure I am placing the 
estimate high. At any rate some people would have 
made me believe in those days that there was not 
a single clean one among them. On several occa- 
sions, I recall that I was laughed at because I ex- 
pressed the belief that certain young men friends 
had never visited ‘'the scarlet house.” If I thought 
them all immoral I should certainly have given up 
my work in despair long ago. But I do not. There 
are young men as pure in thought and deed as their 
sisters or mothers. 

Now, regarding a house party, or European tour 
— I like the idea very much, but I think I could 
command sufficient time for the former only. I will 
speak to my Aunt Emily concerning it, and if we 
cannot arrange it before you come, we will after- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 89 

ward. I have asked for a furlough of two weeks. 
A very short time, to be sure, but we can determine 
some things in ‘‘a fortnight,” as the English say. 
I am looking forward to it with great pleasure and 
in great hopes that we may not disappoint each 
other. 

I do have many amusing experiences. Only a few 
days ago, I had a most ludicrous one at Independ- 
ence, Kansas, arid one over which I shall always feel 
humiliated, but before I tell you that it will be neces- 
sary to tell you another and one that you may not 
enjoy so much. I had been working in the Ter- 
ritory a few days before, where I had got into trou- 
ble with some members of a disreputable class of 
commercial travelers, because I attempted to pro- 
tect a young, unsophisticated girl, whose ruin I heard 
them plotting. When they found themselves de- 
feated, they turned on me, and it was astonishing 
how much they knew of my work. I thought few 
people failed to understand the significance of the 
little badge I wear, but their review of our principles 
was a revelation to me. They did not intend it so, 
but it really was very complimentary, too. 

When I left the train at Atoka, the Territory, they 
left it also, which was not in accordance with their 
previously arranged plans, I feel sure, and I knew 
then that in all probability there was trouble ahead 
for me. What do you suppose they did? They 
took the ticket agent to one side, and after learning 


90 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


from him what they suspected, that I was there to 
lecture that night, they insinuated that I was not the 
person I represented myself to be; that they had 
been traveling with me all the morning and were 
fully convinced that I was a fraud. I had never been 
in the place before, and there was no society whose 
members could identify me; so things wiere in 
a bad shape for a time, and I suppose the good 
women were greatly distressed to know what to 
do; whether to recall the meeting or go ahead. 
(All this time I was ignorant of what was really 
going on, though I felt the chill in the atmosphere, 
so sensitive am I to strained relations — and was 
most suspicious of the cause.) Late in the day — I 
presume I must have impressed them with the hon- 
esty of my purposes — it occurred to some of them 
that it was perfectly absurd that they should accept 
the testimony of this class of men (one was travel- 
ing for a liquor house and the other for cigars) 
against one who gave no proof of being of their 
school; and they rallied to my support, and I have 
an idea we had a much larger meeting than we would 
otherwise have had, so fully were the people’s sym- 
pathies aroused, and I left a union of the very best 
young women, who were determined to do their part 
toward preventing another one of their traveling 
representatives having a similar experience. 

Well, I was so tried and disgusted over the whole 
affair that I resolved never to speak to another man 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


91 


aboard train ; that they were all bad. (A very fool- 
ish resolution, I know, but you can possibly find 
some excuses for me.) It was this resolve that 
caused me to make such a ludicrous mistake. At a 
junction to the east of Independence — I cannot re- 
call the name — I changed cars and had a consider- 
able wait. For a time I was the only occupant of 
the depot, but later a train arrived from another 
direction, and a gentleman got off and came in. I 
was reading at the time and took no notice of him, 
but I was soon conscious that he was anxious to 
engage me in conversation. Presently he said. *‘Did 
you come from the Territory?” Without looking 
up, and in anything but a polite manner, I answered, 
“Yes, sir.” A pause, and then, “Are you going to 
Independence?” In a more ugly spirit, if possible, 
and still without looking up, “Yes, sir.” He did 
not trouble me again until we went aboard the train. 
Then, to my displeasure, he came and took a seat 
just behind me — all this time I had not looked into 
his face — and once more tried to engage me in 
conversation. “I see you wear a temperance badge,” 
he said. Just here I recalled the troubles that same 
badge had drawn me into a few days before — though 
I assure you the beautiful things that come my way 
because of it far outnumber the bad — and I de- 
cided not to reply to him again. He ventured one 
or two more remarks and then finally settled back in 
his seat, and began also to read. When we reached 


92 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


Indq)endence, I noticed that he, too, alighted, and 
a half query came to my mind regarding his identity ; 
but a number of the ladies of the society were at 
the depot to meet me, and in the courtesies that must 
be exchanged, I forgot all about him. He did not 
come to my mind again until we reached the place 
where the meeting was to be held, the Congrega- 
tional Church. Then as soon as my hostess and I 
entered the door of the church I saw a gentleman 
coming down from the pulpit to greet us. There 
was a peculiar smile on his face, and somehow the 
blood began to suffuse my cheeks. When we came 
together my hostess said, ‘‘Miss Davenport, allow 
me to present the pastor of the church. Dr. Snowden 
Burdette, who is to preside to-night.” Can you 
guess the remainder? It was he, it was my fellow 
passenger! He knew who I was, or felt quite sure 
that he did, and since the meeting was to be in 
his church, and he was practically to have charge of 
it, he thought he would like to know what sug- 
gestions I had to make as to its conduct. I was so 
embarrassed, but he was very kind, and I soon gained 
sufficient self-possession to tell him my story and se- 
cure his pardon. How he did laugh at me, though I 
The resolution I made this time was that I would at 
least look into a man’s face before I treated him as 
a scoundrel. I flatter myself that I can often tell 
good from evil spirits. I have made such a study 
of faces and the atmosphere people carry about them 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


93 


that I believe I can even tell the occupations of 
three-fourths of those whom I see while traveling. 
Did you ever try this? 

But I must close and get ready for my train. 
What strange feelings one has in the Mormon City ! 
Cold chills creep over me, when I look at the resi- 
dences — I cannot call them homes — that have as 
many front doors as there were wives. Do you not 
feel the temperature lowering, even at so great a 
distance? I have been delightfully entertained, but 
I shall be glad to get away into a different atmo- 
sphere. How incomprehensible that the polygamous 
practices of these people should have been tolerated, 
without protest, so long ! There are few things that 
menace society more. During the last few days I 
have been much depressed in spirit, but perhaps this 
is just to prepare me for the full enjoyment of the 
days of your visit, since contrasts can emphasize 
the good as well as the bad. 

With visions of those days ever uppermost in 
my mind, 

I am most truly yours, 

Helen E. Davenport. 

‘‘La Planta Farm," 

June I, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport: 

Yours of the 27th ultimo made me about as happy 
as a man could possibly be, under the circumstances. 


94 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


and I hasten to say that I will leave San Antonio 
on ‘The Katy-Flyer,” Monday next, at 8 p. m. If 
my train is on time, I will be able to catch “The 
Knickerbocker Special,” at St. Louis on Wednesday, 
reaching Paris at 3 :58 in the afternoon. Should 
anything occur to cause delay, I will telegraph you 
at once. 

Since I am to see you so soon I shall not attempt 
a reply to your letter, but I must tell you how dis- 
tressed I was over the recital of your experiences 
in the Territory. 

I do not wonder that you were disgusted, and 
felt for a time half inclined to believe all men bad ! 
If it were not for your fine, discriminating sense, I 
should expect to lose your respect myself. Few 
things are more mortifying to a real man, I assure 
you, than an exhibition such as you outlined. The 
“Mormon Menace” certainly is a menace, and every 
thought of the cupidity that is practiced upon the 
women of that church has a chilling effect, but 
whether polygamy, in Utah, is worse, after all, than 
the polygamous practices of the type of men whom 
you encountered in the Territory it is difficult to 
determine. The former is worse from this stand- 
point, of course ; it exists by sanction of the church. 

I will not, for reasons already given, write more 
to-day, except to say that Edwin Somerville is much 
pleased with your suggestion relative to the cor- 
respondence between himself and the young woman 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


95 


of whom you wrote. I have been investigating his 
life, as well as I could, and think his chances for 
reformation are much better than the average, at 
least. How I wish that he, and all like him, might 
begin life anew! 

With a prayer for this class of young people and 
one also for the consummation of our hopes at our 
approaching meeting, 

I am ever faithfully yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

“Cameron Court/' 

San Antonio, 

June 2, 1906. 

My Dear Miss Davenport. 

I came in last night for a little visit with the 
pater and inater familias before leaving for the 
north, and for the first time — because I did not be- 
lieve earlier that our friendship justified it — I have 
talked to them of you and of our hopes. They did 
not see you when you were here, but the young niece 
of whom I have before spoken, my own dear Mar- 
garet Lee, was “carried away” with you, to use a 
girl’s expression, and has, in consequence, interested 
them greatly in you. I doubt, indeed, if you could 
have had a more sympathetic interpreter than she. 
Without any further effort I believe you would have 
a free passport to their good favor, and I long to 
present you to them as my prospective wife. 


96 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


How appreciation of one's parents increases as 
he himself contemplates establishing a home! and 
especially when he thinks of his own possible father- 
hood. I always loved my father and mother, and 
felt that they were superior, but they never seemed 
half so beautiful to me as they did last night while 
we talked of you and of our future plans. You 
would love them truly. I should have no misgivings 
in bringing you all together; no, none in the least, 
and if I may only do this, my life will surely be 
complete. 

In eager anticipations of Wednesday, and with 
unbounded hope in my heart, I am. 

Most truly yours, 

J. Arthur Macdonald. 

‘‘The Menger," 

San Antonio^ 

June 21, 1906. 

My Dear Helen: 

If you could know how rapidly my pulses beat as 
I write your beautiful name — the name that has al- 
ways been my favorite and now becomes the dearest 
one on earth — and realize that I have your permis- 
sion, you would understand the measure of my joy 
to-night, and know how sweet and sacred are my 
memories of those blessed days together. Many 
times before I have longed to so address you, but, 
of course, I had no right, and I could not ask you 






ARTHUR 




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AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


97 


to give me the privilege until we had opportunity 
to understand each other thoroughly. 

And do you not know that I love you a thousand 
times more than I could, possibly, had our courtship 
been of the usual sort? There are no questionings 
now, nothing to wonder about, no mysteries unex- 
plained. Advocates of the old school would say, I 
suppose, that we had robbed ourselves of courtship’s 
rarest pleasures, but it is they who are deceived and 
not we. As you have well said : If love is not built 
on a foundation that has for its corner stone respect, 
the respect that is born of a knowledge of each 
other's traits, principles, and habits of life, it is 
not built at all, for the mysterious something that 
has been the so-called charm, must be explained 
sometime, and when it is, the golden bond is liable 
to be broken. Let me tell you again how superior 
women of your school now seem to me. I not only 
find my interest in those of the old type decreasing, 
but my respect actually waning. A young woman 
who is doing nothing but dress to catch a beau 
(please pardon such a commonplace expression), 
who has no other purpose in life, yet who has false 
conceptions , only of the meaning of their united ( ?) 
lives when she catches him, is almost contemptible 
in my eyes. If this is taking too radical a view I 
must try to modify it, but that is the way I am feel- 
ing now. 

But I must go to tell the dear family of my happi- 


98 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


ness. I reached San Antonio at 8 o’clock this morn- 
ing, stopping over at a hotel to write you before 
going out. Remember me to your gracious Aunt 
Emily and Cousin Louise ; to Miss Montgomery and 
Messrs. Colgate and Waite, of the house party, and 
very especially remember me to your dear father. 
Dr. Davenport. You were a good daughter to 
secure his approval of me before making me any 
promises. I was very much drawn to him, and do 
not wonder that your separation from him has been 
such a grief. 

I shall so very anxiously await your decision, my 
dear Helen, regarding the visit to my parents. As 
I have said before, I know they will love you — and 
for your own sake as well as for mine^ — whether you 
meet soon or late, but I want the acquaintance to 
begin as early as possible. Do not deny me the 
pleasure of introducing you at the earliest possible 
moment, and be sure to bring your father with you. 
Families that contemplate uniting, should know 
much of each other in advance. 

And now good night, my dear Helen, and may 
your happiness be as great as that of your admiring 

Arthur. 

“Relache Cottage,” 

Paris^ Illinois, 

June 24, 1906. 

My Dear Arthur: 

Your telegram came duly and your letter by to- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


99 


day’s post. How eagerly it was opened and read! 
I had often longed to hear you call me Helen, but I 
do not believe in even the slightest familiarities be- 
fore people are engaged. To be sure, in our case, it 
could not have meant much one way or another, 
when we were so far apart, but as a rule, the use of 
Christian names is apt to be a step toward larger 
privileges, and larger privileges may mean ruin and 
despair to a girl. '‘Arthur” is dear to me, too, be- 
cause it was the name of a favorite cousin who died 
in the prime of young manhood. 

I scarcely need tell you that the atmosphere cre- 
ated by your presence here was most wholesome, 
and that memories continue a delight. Every one 
whom you met formed a favorable opinion of you 
(as though they could have done otherwise) and 
Cousin Louise and Miss Montgomery say they envy 
me very much. How fortunate I am they only half 
know ! I am certainly the happiest of young women, 
and my happiness is based on knowledge and not on 
hopes. 

Referring to my being a good daughter because I 
sent you to my father, no matter how much I was 
in love with a young man, I could never promise to 
become his wife unless my father approved. Women 
are supposed to read men intuitively — and I believe 
they can, where they are reading for another and 
not for themselves — but I prefer a man’s opinion 
of a man, and especially do I rely on my father’s 


loo AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


judgment. It was no surprise to me that he said: 
“Of all the young men whom I have ever seen I 
would choose him for a son/' but I wanted to hear 
him say it. 

Speaking of the intuitions of women in the matter 
of divining men’s character and motives, I once 
wrote the editor of a leading magazine, who had 
published a strong purity article in which he used 
the expression: “Often a woman finds hers<elf 
in the embrace of a human gorilla, when she had 
expected to find a kingly souled man, who would 
respect her wishes in the matter of maternity,” and 
I asked him how girls could tell a “kingly souled 
man” from “a human gorilla.” His reply was : “If 
a young woman would study her lover as she would, 
were he the lover of her best girl friend, she could 
scarcely make a mistake.” Another: “If young 
women can discover, through a brother, or some 
other male relative — which they can easily do if 
they are sufficiently adroit — what young men talk 
about when in the company of young men only, and 
whether they tell, or laugh at, impure stories, they 
can form a pretty correct idea.” Both of these I 
have often felt were excellent tests. Do you not 
think so? 

Now, as to the talked-of visit : I think it is most 
important that I make it, and I am very desirous 
of doing so, but I cannot tell, until I hear from 
headquarters, whether they will give me the time. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. loi 


I will find out at the earliest possible day and let 
you know. In the meantime believe that every 
query in my mind was answered, satisfactorily, dur- 
ing our two weeks together. 

I am fully convinced that your private life has 
been clean, and as for your business record, I know 
that, too, is unquestioned. I honor you, I love you, 
I look forward with great happiness to the day I 
shall be your wife. Believe me. 

Affectionately yours, 

Helen. 

‘‘La Planta Farm/' 

June 29, 1906. 

My Dear Helen : 

If I had needed any further proof of your admira- 
tion for and belief in me, your last dear letter would 
have allayed all fears. Of course I am delighted to 
know that your young home friends formed a favor- 
able opinion of me, but it is your confidence and 
your father’s that pleases me most. You must see 
more of your father, my dear, when you have a 
home to which to invite him. And of your step- 
mother too. Now that all barriers to your friend- 
ship are to be removed, perhaps a perfect reconcilia- 
tion can be effected. I am sure you would be glad 
to have it so, for your father’s sake. What an un- 
happy day it must be for a man when he finds he 
must choose between his wife and such a charming 


102 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


daughter as yourself! It may be — it is, I think — all 
right for a man to marry a second time, under cer- 
tain conditions, but for him to make a choice with- 
out considering his children, and their best care, is 
unpardonable to my mind. 

I dare say your father was not like the average 
widower, and that he conscientiously tried to give 
you a sympathetic new mother, but the abominable 
false ideals of society prevented truth and candor 
entering into the compact, and so he was disap- 
pointed and deceived. The popular belief that mar- 
riage must be a lottery; that it is the privilege of 
both parties to deceive as much as they can ; that 
‘‘All things are fair in love and war,” 
wrecks thousands of lives every day. As you know, 
I have had for years so little interest in society and 
society people — in fact really never did have any 
interest in them — but I did not understand why, 
exactly, until you showed me. Now I know it is 
because of its falseness and impurities, its decep- 
tions and crimes. If you had not rescued me, what 
a cynical celibate I should have become! Twenty 
years from now I should certainly have been living 
the life of a hermit, but better that than a part of the 
present society regime ; yes, a thousand times better 
than that! 

But — my dear Helen, I am not writing what I 
started out to say. The one purpose of this letter 
is to urge you to close your contract with the Suf- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 103 

frage Society at once and cancel all your engage- 
ments. Do you not owe this to yourself, to me and 
to the vow you will take? You have half promised 
to be my wife as early as October, and it is now 
June 29th. I do not want to be too insistent, if my 
judgment is not in accord with yours., but you surely 
do need quiet and rest, if nothing more, and even if 
you decide that it is best to postpone our marriage 
until June of next year, you really should leave your 
intense, exciting life, now, and begin to build up 
muscle and nerves. When you look at it from this 
standpoint, I am sure you will see that I am right. 
I can understand something of why the average 
maiden whose life has been as full as yours should 
be a little loth to make a change, but you do not 
come, my dear Helen, to the narrow, circumscribed 
life that most women do. In many respects life for 
you will mean larger opportunity and larger achieve- 
ment. If I had not believed this I could not have 
asked you to be my wife. I fully sympathize with 
you, dear, in your desire to do good in a large way, 
and want to help you to lay broad plans; but is it 
not possible that you could command as large audi- 
ence with your pen as with your voice? That is the 
way I should like to see you work and so save your- 
self the long, tiresome journeys, exciting meetings, 
and irregular living in every way that is so hard on 
digestion and nerve force. 

I am in a mood for writing to-night, and could 


ro4 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


go on and on, but there are a good many things to 
be looked after at ‘‘La Planta Farm” on the mor- 
row, so perhaps I would better close and make out 
my schedule for that. 

Not alone because I have asked it, my dear Helen, 
but because of your own good sense, I fully expect 
that you will have an early settlement with the So- 
ciety, and that you will visit my people next month. 
I have a double purpose in desiring you to do this ; 
I not only want them to know you, and you them, 
but I want you to see the bungalow, at the farm. 
It will be necessary to enlarge it considerably before 
it is adequate for even your temporary abode, and 
I want you to architect the plans. 

On re-reading your letter I find that you have 
written some interesting things to which I have not 
referred. It all serves to show how tireless you 
have been in your efforts to read signs, and ferret 
out things that to others remain enigmas. The 
reasoning of the editor to whom you wrote was 
certainly correct. Sometime, you must send those 
tests out to all girls, along with others of your own. 
We will talk these points over more fully ‘‘some 
glad day.” 

Hoping to hear from you at once, and favorably, 
I am, my dear Helen, 

Yours ever lovingly, 

Arthur. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 105 


Madison, Wis., 

July 5, 1906. 

My Beloved Arthur : 

Your letter touched a responsive chord in my 
heart, and I wrote immediately to headquarters to 
say that I had decided to leave the lecture field at 
once for the larger field of the home. There has not 
yet been time for a reply, but, of course, they can do 
nothing but excuse me. This is the time when lec- 
ture bureaus, school boards, missionary societies, 
and other organizations, do not try to dissuade you 
from carrying out your plans. I shall, however, be 
obliged to fill the engagements so far as definitely 
made, which cover a period of the next ten days — 
seven only from the day this reaches you. At the 
expiration of that time, I promise to hasten to San 
Antonio, and, if it is possible for father to leave his 
practice — there is always a good deal of sickness here 
in the summer season, you know — I will persuade 
him to accompany me. If he cannot get away, with 
your permission, I will bring my Cousin Louise. 

I am not loth, my dear Arthur, to leave my present 
work. The new life appeals to me, too, as being 
larger in opportunity, and richer in quality of service, 
to say nothing of my love for you, and the joys of 
your companionship, and I shall have no regrets in 
making the change. If I have seemed a little inclined 
to favor a postponement of our nuptials, it is only 
because I imagine the engagement period must be so 


io6 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


sweet ; must be similar to the pleasure of a girl friend 
of mine who told me once she often carried my let- 
ters in her pocket unopened for days, just because 
she enjoyed the anticipated joy. See? 

But a cab is at the door waiting to take me to the 
train for my next appointment, and I must hastily 
say good-by; that is “God be with you.” With 
beautiful memories of you always, and beautiful 
thoughts of our life together, I remain. 

Your loving 

Helen. 

“Cameron Court/" 

San Antonio, 

July 13, 1906. 

Dearest Helen : 

When I look at the subject calmly, I realize that 
you must fill your present engagements; that it is 
the only honorable thing to do, but I rejoice to know 
that my plea was so sympathetically received, and 
that you have issued your decree to the Organiza- 
tion. I am most happy, too, in your promised visit, 
as is also my father and mother. By all means, bring 
your Cousin Louise, whether your father comes or 
not. I am particularly anxious that your father 
should come, but a trio of you would make a more 
merry party, and I trust we may have the pleasure 
of welcoming the three. 

It is yours to decide, of course, whether we shall 
be married in October, or not until the June later; 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 107 


but, dearest Helen, why wait? You are fully satis- 
fied, you say, that our ideals are the same; that all 
things combine, in fact, to produce the full trinity of 
love; why postpone the great day? Life is short, 
and I shall mourn for every hour I spend out of your 
society. If you feel that your health could be im- 
proved and you would wait to build it up because of 
the sweet hopes that are yours in motherhood, why I 
could not further urge you, but if you are as strong 
as you appear to be, and merely need rest and change, 
it seems to me we should not wait beyond the autumn 
time. Tell me that this, too, finds ‘‘a responsive 
chord” in your heart. 

I would not have believed that any one could be so 
essential to my happiness as the last two weeks have 
proved that you are. My days are a continuous 
dream of you as well as my nights, and I am only 
half capable of either business or study. You see 
how serious the matter is becoming and that the pos- 
sible cynical bachelor has developed into a lover 
ardent and bold. 

Come, say the word, dearest Helen, and relieve 
the suspense of 

Your anxious, but faithful 

Arthur. 

I shall not expect another letter before you leave 
for San Antonio. Just telegraph me the hour of your 
departure, and I will look up the time of the arrival 
of your train. 


io8 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


On Board ‘‘The American Special/" 

July 24, 1906. 

“My Own True Lover"’ : 

Every hour, as this fast-flying palace carries me 
farther from you, my appreciation is increased! It 
is a good test, too, this longing for each other’s so- 
ciety. Somebody told me once never to marry a 
man unless I felt when absent from him that life 
was incomplete ; was scacely worth the living ; that a 
man’s presence was deceptive, and love for him then 
was never to be accepted as sufficient proof. The 
law controlling this is, I think, related to hypnotism. 
I can understand how a strong physical attraction 
might have in it a suggestion of mesmeric power, 
and when the lover (?) was out of “Milady’s” 
presence, the “magnet” would not draw. If this is 
true, it is easy to see why he is not the man to marry. 
The person who gave me this advice made no expla- 
nation, but this is the explanation reasoning gave 
me. Many a young woman’s honor might have been 
saved had she known this law and applied the tests. 

To-day is the first opportunity father. Cousin 
Louise and I have had to talk over our visit, and I 
did not know until now how greatly each was 
pleased. Father says I “have won the prize” — notice, 
not a, but the — and my Cousin Louise — well, she 
cannot say nice enough things about you, so com- 
pletely have you made friends with her. 

And how could they help being pleased? The 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 109 


quiet, refined atmosphere of your home life, and the 
deference paid the parents by the son, would win 
any one who was not devoid of a capacity for com- 
prehending it. How delighted I was when your 
father put his arms around me at parting and kissed 
me two or three times ! Your dear, and more demon- 
strative mother, had said and done many things to 
make me feel that she was gratified over your choice, 
but your father is so quiet, I had hardly known, un- 
til then, whether he approved. That one act was suf- 
ficient, however, and I am happy in believing that 
we shall understand and love each other devotedly. 
Did you not have some difficulty in convincing them 
that I would make as good a wife as though I had 
never left the shelter of the home? You have al- 
ready explained to me, though, haven’t you, that the 
lovely Margaret had broken down all prejudices and 
interested them in me long before they had thought 
of me as your wife. I was so drawn to this young 
niece. You have been entirely too modest about her ; 
her mother, too, Mrs. Linton-Moore, and all that 
pertains to your family and home. I think you had 
not told me that the brother-in-law was dead, and 
that your sister had been living at home for years 
as loyal to his memory as though he had gone but 
yesterday. Such devotion is as admirable as it is 
rare. But why should a young mother, who has 
such a daughter to love and plan for, care for another 
marriage ? 


I lo AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


I am letting my pen run away with itself in my en- 
thusiasm for your people, but since one marries a 
whole family, and not a single member of it, you 
will surely be gratified that I am so well pleased. 
This fact, the fact that in marriage one unites her- 
self to a whole family, was brought forcibly to my 
mind by the mother of one of my girl friends. When 
Christine announced her desire to marry a certain 
young man, whose family was indolent and improv- 
ident, her mother said: “Remember, daughter, you 
are not only marrying Gordon Lamar, but the whole 
Lamar family.” To this Christine protested that 
she was not ; that she was simply marrying Gordon, 
but the mother insisted, and the daughter found, to 
her sorrow, in after years, that it was only too true. 

I asked father to-day what he thought of my phys- 
ical condition, and of our marriage in late October, 
explaining that in view of possible motherhood, I did 
not wish to set the day until I was sure that I was 
in every way fitted for it. He asked me many ques- 
tions and made as thorough a diagnosis as he could, 
apart from his office, after which he said he felt quite 
sure my health was normal ; at any rate, that I had 
no organic disease at all — merely a very bad case of 
sympathetic heart trouble — wasn’t it clever of him? 
— and that all I would need would be a few weeks of 
rest and change. When we get to Paris he will ex- 
amine me again, and then I will let you know, defi- 
nitely, my decision. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


Ill 


I thought only to write you a brief note, express- 
ing our satisfaction in our visit, and here my letter 
has lengthened again until I have written a chap- 
ter of a book! Will we ever be able to talk out all 
we want to say, I wonder? Father says we talk so 
continuously when we are together we remind him 
of two girls. Do you not consider that another com- 
pliment ? I should. I told a young man once that I 
talked to him just as I would if he were a girl, and 
I never felt quite sure that he was able to correctly 
interpret the speech, but I certainly meant it as a 
compliment. Only an exceptionally pure minded 
young man could ever draw me out to talk to him as 
I would to girls, for I should be sure that every word 
I uttered — were I talking to the other sort — would 
not only be misconstrued, but repeated and made cap- 
ital of in the presence of other young men of his ilk. 

Yes, my dear Arthur, my father has paid you a 
very fine compliment. It is no evidence whatever 
that a young man is effeminate, or that his virility 
is deficient in any sense, when girls treat him as 
though he were one of them ; but it is proof positive, 
on the other hand, that his life has been clean in both 
thought and deed, and that young women have in- 
tuitively recognized it. Write this down in your 
‘‘nature studies'’ and tell other young men the truth. 
There is a weak young man of the namby-pamby 
type, but young women do not care to talk to him at 
all. 


1 12 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


Father and Cousin Louise have retired to their 
berths, and I must say good night, and go, too. This 
letter Fll post in the morning, at St. Louis. 

With more joy in my heart than I can express, be- 
lieve me, 

Your own loving 

Helen. 

‘‘Relache Cottage, 

Paris, Illinois, 

July 25, 1906. 

Dearest Arthur: 

We reached home at noon to-day, which gave op- 
portunity for the further examination of which I 
wrote yesterday, and I hasten to tell you that happily 
father’s previously expressed opinions regarding my 
health are confirmed. 

Of course, I have been thinking a great deal about 
an October wedding since I left you, and after turn- 
ing the plans all over in my mind, and determining 
the amount of time that would be required to bring 
everything to pass, I have concluded to say to you 
that it is my wish that it should be, and I name 
Wednesday, October 31st — the anniversary of our 
meeting — as the day. 

Father says, however, that I must have a care- 
free outing, and suggests that as many members of 
the two families as can get away spend the month 
of August at The Lakes in some little frequented 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


113 

place. What do you think? Do you not need this 
really almost as much as I? Your sister and niece, 
at least, could accompany you, could they not ? My 
Aunt Emily would chaperon the party, and we could 
fill the days to overflowing with pleasures that 
would neither tire nor tax us in any way. 

Now, what kind of a wedding shall we have? My 
relatives here favor a large church wedding, but my 
mind inclines rather to a perfectly quiet one, though 
even then I should want it at the altar of the sancu- 
ary, too. Please express a preference, if you have 
any. 

While I am waiting to hear from you, I will com- 
pletely organize my mind in the matter of my gowns. 
A New York tailor has done my work for several 
years, and I think I cannot do better than to engage 
him now, and this I will do at once, securing a part 
of his September or early October time. I do not 
want many gowns, and I prefer that what I do have 
should be simple ; that is not elaborately trimmed. I 
never have but two or three gowns at a time any 
more, and I find it so much more satisfactory than 
to fill one's wardrobe with half-worn garments. I 
have known young women who had eighteen or 
twenty gowns in a season, to dress half a dozen times 
when preparing for some social function, and then be 
dissatisfied and half wish they had worn something 
else, while I, with one reception gown only, was per- 
fectly comfortable, content, and self-possessed. I 


1 14 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


like good materials, however, and good tailoring. 
My soul abhors cheap, tawdry things, and you will 
not find me an inexpensive wife, after all. 

Something beautiful in white would be the most 
appropriate for the wedding gown, I think, no mat- 
ter what kind of a wedding we have, and a brown 
cloth for traveling. Have you any suggestions to 
make? Nothing but the conventional black would 
be suitable for you, of course, on this occasion, but 
do you know, I have wished so much that gentle- 
men would wear a little touch of color for evening 
parties ? In India, my brother says, English gentle- 
men wear nothing but white the year around, but of 
evenings they add a scarlet sash, called a cummer- 
bund, and that you cannot imagine how peculiarly 
pleasing it is. The coat worn with it is short, com- 
ing scarcely to the waist line, and this touch of color 
peeping out, is just the thing. Then the colored 
waistcoats of our great-grandfathers! How hand- 
some they must have been in those! I wish some 
society of young men were brave enough to start 
these customs again. Why, I am so old-fashioned, in 
some respects, I would even like to see knee breeches 
come back ! Think of that ! I hope you will not be 
disgusted with me quite. I do not speak of it now 
because I want to see something of the sort in your 
October purchases, but I mean I would like to see 
them adopted by society in general again and I 
hope they may be some day. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 1 1 5 


I wonder if you have had any difficulty in getting 
a reliable contractor for the house? You could not 
join us at The Lakes, of course, until you did, and 
until you were satisfied that all the plans would be 
carried out. I almost wish I had not consented to 
the improvements, and I shall regret it yet if it pre- 
vents you joining us here. 

Perhaps I may want a city home some day, but I 
cannot tell you with what pleasure I look forward to 
the quiet life out at “La Planta Farm” just now. I 
did not know how weary I was of travel until after 
the opportunity came to make the change, and I had 
fully decided upon doing it. There is no comparison 
to my mind between life in such a beautiful, secluded 
spot — for me, at this time-^and the busy, noisy 
city. 

Taking up a subject of a former letter of yours; 
my step-mother invited me home to-day, and I sup- 
pose we shall, as you hoped, bury the past, and be 
friends. I certainly will do my part, for I am so 
happy I have no desire to hold ill-will against any 
one, and from all appearances she is anxious to for- 
give and forget, too. 

But how much I am writing again! With my 
mind relieved from all the responsibility of my lec- 
ture engagements, and concentrated on the one all- 
important engagement, it seems as though I cannot 
stay my pen. To be sure, I do not write more than 
in the early days of our acquaintance, but there was 


1 1 6 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


so much to leam from each other then, and more 
matters to be adjusted than now. 

When you come to Paris, shall I have a garden 
party and introduce you to a larger number of our 
young people ? And if so, what would you think of 
announcing our engagement at the time? It would 
be something a little out of the ordinary, of course, 
but is there any reason why it should not be? Let 
me have your views regarding this, as well in other 
things that bear upon the plans, at the earliest hour 
you can write. 

By the way, I had a letter yesterday from my 
dear Leonore Lane, the young woman of whom I 
spoke in connection with Mr. Somerville, and the 
poor child writes that she cannot consider our propo- 
sition even for a moment. It is her purpose to de- 
vote her life, exclusively, to her baby, and she is 
now taking a special business course, with a view to 
better preparing herself for the single-handed battle 
of life. I must say that my admiration for her is in- 
creased by this decision, though I do feel more sorry 
still for her, if possible. When we are married and 
settled, and you have time to think about it, I want 
you to use your business sense to help her to make 
some money, for a gift of it I fear she would not 
accept. I am so grateful that I do not have her suf- 
fering, though how gladly would I have saved her 
from the wiles of a reprobate if I could. I am so 
grateful for your love, dearest Arthur; for the love 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 1 1 7 

of a man who has such a high sense of honor and an 
exalted appreciation of womanhood, and I sincerely 
wish that all young women were as fortunate as 1. 

Believing that I have pleased you in the decision 
I have made, 

I am, with tenderest love and true. 

Your always affectionate 

Helen. 

‘‘La Planta Farm/' 

July 29, 1906. 

My Own Dear Helen : 

I had just come to my “den’^ to re-read and an- 
swer your first letter when your second one arrived. 
Oh, for language to express the satisfaction of my 
soul in them ! My dear, dear Helen ! Four weeks of 
unalloyed bliss at The Lakes with you, then two 
months of busy preparations, and you are to be my 
wife ! I can only half believe that such joy is to be 
mine. Once before I told you that I “walked in 
air,’’ so happy was I, but what I felt then was only 
a fore-gleam of that which I am experiencing now. 
Of course, you knew you would please me in your 
decision! In fact “please” isn’t strong enough to 
express it at all ; you have made me supremely happy 
and no man could be happier than that. 

It will be easy for me to join you at the appointed 
time, and I shall be glad to bring your admiring 
Margaret, but my sister had already arranged a 


1 18 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


business mission and cannot alter her plans. You 
can imagine about how delighted Margaret is. She 
loves her “Uncle Arthur” dearly, and with her pros- 
pective “Aunt Helen” she is simply charmed. 

I secured a contractor the very day you left, my 
dear, and the proposed changes in the bungalow are 
well under way. How much does your Cousin 
Louise know of your ideals in colorings and furnish- 
ings ? You must not be bothered a moment with the 
matter of refitting the house, and in thinking about 
how it was to be done without you I have wondered 
if your cousin could not be trusted to carry out 
your color schemes. If so, she could accompany 
Margaret and me home the first week in September, 
or come when the house is ready, and relieve you of 
all the worry or even of thinking about it. What do 
you say? I want it to be in perfect harmony with 
your ideals in colorings, but dare not choose myself. 

And in the matter of your trousseau: I regard 
your taste as faultless — your artistic dress was one 
of the first things that interested me in you, you 
know — and so have no suggestions to make. Be- 
cause you have the artistic sense developed to such a 
high degree, I am inclined to be interested in your 
plea for “a touch of color in gentlemen’s evening 
dress,” and if you cannot persuade some society of 
young men to adopt it, Fll get me a ''cummer-hund” 
and a colored waistcoat and wear them when we are 
alone together. How would that do? You say I 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 1 19 

am laughing at you? No, I am not, my dear. If it 
would give you so much pleasure to see a company 
of young men in colors, would it not give you a 
little pleasure to see one man — and especially your 
husband — attired as you suggest ? I am sincere, and 
I will prove it to you in time. 

As to the kind of a wedding we shall have, the re- 
ception, and announcement in my presence of our en- 
gagement, I leave also with you. Any arrangements 
you may make will be entirely satisfactory with me, 
for I rely on your judgment thoroughly. 

I am just reminded that I have not said anything 
to you about a wedding journey. Where would you 
like to go ? Would you care to take a trip around the 
world at this time? Your will is my pleasure, my 
beloved; do not have any hesitancy in saying just 
what you would like. I have not mentioned my 
gratification in the news of your good health, either, 
but you understood that was included in my joy in 
the prospects of our early marriage. A well wife is 
the only one to have for many reasons. 

By the way, I spent last evening at ‘Travellyn 
Lodge,” with the La Rose's, and in consequence 
could ‘‘trade compliments” with you a score of times. 
Aren't they charming people? Such friends are 
certainly our truest riches. 

My thoughts turn now to less favored ones. You 
have interested me greatly in Miss Leonore Lane, 
and all my manhood's sympathies go out to her. 


120 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


What should be done, anyway, with men whose 
practice it is to seduce primary virtue; who betray 
the trust of such excellent girls? I can think of no 
punishment that would be too severe to mete out to 
them. At any rate, the very least leniency that 
should be shown, it seems to me. would be but to 
allow them the choice of a life incarceration behind 
prison bars, or the surrender at once of their virile 
powers. This sounds harsh, I know, but who suf- 
fers more than a ruined girl? especially with the 
prevailing ideals of society. 

There is another thing, too, that is wrong, though, 
of course, it does not compare with the crime to 
which I have just referred, and that is the tendency 
of so many young men to monopolize the time of a 
young woman, often for years, when they have no 
serious intentions, and thus keep away others, and 
possibly more desirable suitors. I have known them 
to take actual pride in doing this. Believe me, if I 
were a young woman, all such lovers would be 
promptly dismissed. 

Certainly, my dearest Helen, we will do anything 
we can in the case of Miss Lane to make life more 
tolerable ; but I want us to get at a foundation work 
as soon as possible and help to create more public 
sentiment against the seducer, and more general sym- 
pathy for the victims of his diabolical art. 

Let me see, this is July 29th, isn't it? Margaret 
and I should leave here on the morning of the 30th 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


121 


in order to reach you by August ist, but I think I 
will wait to hear just what place you have selected, 
and we will go directly there. This will delay you a 
little, but I think you will not care. You would not 
want to have the reception until after we returned, 
would you ? 

My auto is at the door and the chauffeur tells me 
I must start at once, if I get this to the post. Fll 
make it keep time with my heartbeats to-night, 
though, and that' ‘means we will go like the wind. 

With fond dreams of the day when my Helen will 
make these trips with me — such fond dreams — I am 
Your devoted 

Arthur. 

“Relache Cottage/' 

Paris, Illinois, 
August 1st, 1906. 

My Own Dear Arthur: 

I write immediately upon receipt of yours to say 
that we have decided upon a beautiful woodland near 
Greencastle, Indiana, called “The Shades,” where 
we can rent tents and pitch them any place fancy 
leads, and entirely out of the track of other campers, 
if we choose. We do not want to be where we will 
have to do a particle of dressing, you know, nor see 
a soul, if we are not inclined. This, at any rate, for 
the first days of the vacation time. If we weary of 
it we can seek society later on. 


122 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


The company will consist of Aunt Emily, Cousin 
Louise and Mr. Owen Colgate, of the house party ; 
my young half sisters, Alberta and Florence, as part- 
ners for Margaret — I felt sure you would not want 
gentleman company for her — yourself and me. Then 
possibly father may be able to run over for two or 
three days before we break up, and bring other mem- 
bers of the family, but he cannot tell now. I could 
have enlarged the party easily, so many people are 
anxious to go camping these warm days, but feared 
to do so, lest some uncongenial spirit might creep in. 

No, I do not care to have the announcement party 
until our return, so you and Miss Margaret can come 
directly to the camp. Leave the train at Greencastle 
— most people leave it at Waveland, but Mr. Col- 
gate, Louise and I want a longer automobile drive, 
so will meet you at the former place, at any time that 
you designate. If we are not in evidence when you 
arrive, just wait until we come, for come we surely 
will. 

It is most generous of you to leave so much to me 
in the matter of proprieties, and is the best proof you 
could give of the genuineness of your admiration 
for my good taste. Yes, I believe my Cousin Louise 
would represent me perfectly in helping to refit the 
house, and it is a most happy thought of yours. 
Bring the plans with you and we will go over them 
all with her. Of course, as you say, I cannot have 
the strain of it, and since we shall have other houses 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 123 

some day to furnish I do not care so much if I can- 
not do this myself now. 

I am so happy, dearest Arthur, in anticipation of 
the coming four weeks! Every responsibility has 
been thrown to the winds, and for this time, at least, 
I am going to be a girl; just a lounging, care-free 
girl, drinking in all the ozone possible, as well as 
making love. 

Do I want to start on a trip around the world, in 
October? Oh, no, my dear, I could not be per- 
suaded to undertake such a journey at this time. 
What I want to do is to go directly to “La Planta 
Farm” ; to the place where you have spent so many 
happy, busy years, and there, 

“Shut in from all the world without,” 

ride, drive, read, sing, play and plan to our 
hearts’ content. This, to me, represents the summit 
of joy as I think of our first weeks together. No 
unsympathetic public to gaze, no uncongenial friends 
to wonder. Just you, and I, and nature, and the 
heavenly Father to bless. 

But we have many preparations to make, so I will 
leave anything else that is to be said about it, until 
we meet. 


“Till we meet.” 


124 an up-to-date courtship. 


May nothing occur to overshadow our happiness, 
now or then, is the prayer of 

Your own loving 

Helen. 

‘‘La Planta Farm/^ 

August 3d, 1906. 

My Dearest Helen: 

I was not sure that I should have time to reach 
you by letter before you left Paris, so I sent a tele- 
gram this morning to say that Margaret and I are 
all in readiness, and will leave San Antonio on the 
evening of August 6th. We should reach Green- 
castle about 5 130 P. M. on the 8th, but I will tele- 
graph again relative to that. 

I, too, am looking forward to this playtime with 
great pleasure. It will be the first real vacation I 
have had in fifteen years, and consequently I may not 
know how to fully relax and enjoy it, but I shall 
surely try. 

Be prepared to see a boy, my dear girlie, and a boy 
in knee-breeches, too. In most delightful anticipa- 
tions, 

I am your — bound for a royal time — 

Arthur. 

“Cameron Court,^^ 

San Antonio, 
September 10, 1906. 

Dearest Helen: 

Margaret and I haven’t shaken all the dust of the 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 125 


‘‘Katy Flyer’’ from our feet yet — we arrived at 
8 A. M., and it is now 9 — and are feeling some- 
what weary and travel-Hvorn, but we both still 
vote our four weeks’ camping excursion the biggest 
time in our lives, up to date. No matter, my dear, 
how many delightful trips you and I may have in 
future years, I am sure our minds will often revert 
to this one, and we will call it ‘‘the Alps of joy,” 
when you played girl, and I played boy, and we both 
played “my own true lover.” 

I am very happy this morning in believing that, 
although we appeared to each other in a somewhat 
different role, as merrymakers, our love was only 
increased. I know mine was for you, for while I 
believe in seriousness and hard work, and concentra- 
tion, I know there should be seasons for rest and 
play, and I am glad you can enter into a time like 
that with such zest. You will do me a great favor 
always by planning trips of that sort. 

Going abruptly from thoughts of the gay days to 
the serious, how you did surprise me that evening of 
the garden party when you called me to your side 
and made the statements you did relative to our mar- 
riage ! 

“His strength is as the strength of ten 
Because his heart is pure.” 

What a marvelously beautiful sentiment! Among 
the number there may have been those who, be- 


126 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


cause of the evil in their own hearts, questioned my 
just claim to all you said; but I doubt not it will set 
them to thinking and do a world of good. They 
know you would not lower your standard, and they 
know, with the unusual opportunities you have had 
for meeting and studying people, you could scarcely 
be deceived in me. They know, too, that I could 
not have stood there as I did, unmoved, had I not 
been worthy. I realize that you did it, not because 
you wanted to put me to any test, nor yet because you 
especially wanted them to know of our love, but be- 
cause you felt that it was the opportune time to raise 
a little higher the ideals of your dear home girl 
friends, some of whom, at least, love you devotedly. 
When you turned to the young women especially 
and said what you did about the purposes of mar- 
riage, I could see that, although they could not have 
so spoken themselves, they felt that it was all right 
for you to do it. What gifts you have in these ways, 
dearest Helen! I can quite understand how it has 
been that the society has given you so much recog- 
nition. I feel as though I had done so little when I 
compare your accomplishments with mine, yet it is 
sometimes as much what a man hasn’t done as what 
he has, that makes him worthy of a good woman’s 
love, isn’t it? I shall not prolong my letter this 
morning, because I must go out to the farm and see 
how the work of rebuilding is progressing, and when 
I can call Miss Louise. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 127 

But one thing more: you have not told me yet 
what kind of a wedding gift you would appreciate 
most. If you do not care for diamonds, or jewelry 
of any sort, how would you like a few sections of 
land ? I know of a fine tract of about twenty thou- 
sand acres of orange land near Houston, that I can 
get cheap. How would you like that and about ten 
thousand dollars with which to begin its develop- 
ment? I know of no better business proposition just 
now than to plant Satsuma orange orchards in 
that region, for the opening up of the Panama Canal 
is destined to make of Houston, not only the me- 
tropolis of the South, but one of the greatest com- 
mercial centres of the world. 

It would make you a very busy woman, I know, 
to take this, in addition to all your other duties, but 
by paying well for it, it will be easy to secure capable 
helpers in all departments, and you need do nothing 
but map out your plans and see that they are exe- 
cuted. Simply the ‘Ueneral” you will be, you see. 

Make me happy, my beloved Senorita — as we 
sometimes say in San Antonio — by telling me that 
you will accept this, or else express definitely your 
wishes. 

Not only with beautiful memories, but with a con- 
tentment and joy and pride in my heart this morning 
that I had not known before, 

I am your very fond and happy 

Arthur. 


128 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


‘‘Somers-Day^^ Hotel, 

New York City, 
September 21, 1906. 
My Dear ‘‘Prince Arthur" : 

The wedding gift you name quite takes my breath 
away! Twenty thousand acres of land in Illinois 
would make a man a millionaire I I had not dreamed 
you had such wealth as this ! I knew I was marrying 
a man who had been marvelously successful, but it 
had not dawned upon me until now that you had 
made a fortune in such a comparatively brief time. 
What unheard-of concentration! You must not say 
again that your achievements have not been as great 
as my own. They have been in an altogether dif- 
ferent line, to be sure, but to my way of thinking 
they have not been excelled by any one. But, dear- 
est Arthur, do you think it is right to amass such a 
fortune without taking into partnership those who 
have made it possible for you to do it? You say you 
pay large salaries to your “overseers” ; that is good, 
so far as it goes, but are they not entitled to even 
more ? And what about the poor, illiterate laborers, 
who haven’t the capacity to rise to a responsible posi- 
tion-one that commands a large salary ? You could 
no more have made your money without them than 
you could without the land your father gave you. 
Do you not think it would be right, dear, and Chris- 
tian, to take every man in your employ into your 
business on the profit-sharing plan? I have such 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 129 

faith in your goodness of heart, I believe you would 
soon see the justice of doing this without any sug- 
gestions from me, but I could not forbear mention- 
ing it to you. Of course I will accept the gift, if it 
is your wish, and gladly, and I will tell you what I 
will do with the major part of it ; Fll colonize it, not 
as a money making project, but as a philanthropy — 
with your permission. I have seen so many worthy 
people in the older States who were merely existing, 
it would give me such happiness to put them in pos- 
session of good homes of their own. This has been a 
long coveted ambition in fact, and now that it is 
about to be realized it makes me wonder whether I 
am on earth, yet, or whether I have not been trans- 
ferred to Heaven. At any rate it makes the place 
where I am a paradise. Thank you a thousand 
times. 

Do you know my announcing our approaching 
marriage the way I did was entirely unpremeditated 
and wholly inspirational ? I mean my closing speech. 
By your leaving on the midnight train I did not 
have opportunity to speak to you about it afterward, 
so I am so glad to hear you say now that you thought 
it perfectly right, and that you did not feel embar- 
rassed in the least. I believe it was your presence 
that inspired me; your masterful presence and the 
full belief that those young men could not gainsay, 
when they looked into your face, a single word I 
spoke. I am going to call them together again and 


130 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


tell them more. I am going to tell them about your 
work and its results. I want them to understand 
why you have not been tempted even to lead a fast 
life; that no one with such purposes could possibly 
find time. Among them there must be some one 
who would be encouraged to attempt great things, 
too. I get so provoked at young people because they 
are content to work for some one else, on a small sal- 
ary, when they might be beginning large things for 
themselves. I believe the opportunity to succeed in 
a big way comes to many young men and women, but 
only the few are willing to make the sacrifices neces- 
sary to start in any great work. When I was about 
half grown I used to wish I were a boy, because I 
thought only boys could overcome obstacles and at- 
tain success, but, thanks to the wider outlook I ob- 
tained later, I was inspired to try to climb the ladder 
myself. Some day, if you will remind me of it. I’ll 
tell you how greatly the people of Paris sympathized 
with me in my efforts — everybody except the saloon- 
keepers. I was especially inspired by the admiration 
of the children, and many a hard day’s work was 
made glorious by memories of their loyalty and love. 

I have written on and on without making any 
explanation of the above address, or of the delay in 
answering your letter, which had to be forwarded, 
but you will understand that I rushed off to New 
York just as soon as I could after you left. I have 
done my shopping, my gowns are fitted, and every- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 131 

thing is promised by October loth. I imagined I 
should be lonely when this was off my mind, but I 
am almost as conscious of your presence to-day, 
dear, as though you stood right by my side. Do you 
ever have this experience ? It is very delightful, and 
I believe is but another proof that we are kindred 
souls. Nevertheless, pleasant as this communion 
is, I would annihilate distance if I could, and see the 
spirit clothed in flesh. 

Those days in the woodland were nonesuch days, 
weren’t they? You surprised me greatly by your 
thorough enjoyment of the various sports. And 
how I do laugh every time I recall you in your base- 
ball suit ! When you wrote me that you were going 
to wear knee-breeches, it never occurred to me that 
you could perpetrate a joke of this sort. It was a 
capital joke though, just the same, and one I could 
fully appreciate. As you say, they are never-to-be- 
forgotten days, as well as nonesuch, and for more 
reasons than one, not the least of which is that they 
were re-creating days. I felt so rested in both bodv 
and mind, and feel sure that you received an equal 
amount of benefit. We certainly must take such a 
vacation every year, and more than one when needed. 
By the way. Cousin Louise told me before I left that 
she and Mr. Colgate became engaged at the camp. 
They have grown up together; — he is a member of 
one of our large mercantile firms — have been sweet- 
hearts almost from infancy, and I think are admir- 


132 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


ably adapted to each other in every way. Write 
Louise at your earliest convenience, and tell her of 
your good opinion of ‘‘Mr. Owen,’^ as I always 
called him. I think, if I remember rightly, you were 
more than pleased with him. They will not be mar- 
ried before June at the earliest time. 

Who do you suppose I met yesterday on an ele- 
vated train? Your dear college chum. Dr. Van 
Allen ! How did I know it was he ? He was reading 
leaf. Then I looked into his face and the resem- 
a book, and I happened to see his name on the fly- 
blance to the photograph you have of him was so 
striking I knew I could not be mistaken ; so I spoke 
to him and received a most cordial recognition as 
well as a beautiful tribute to your dear self. I do 
not wonder that his influence over you was for good. 
The atmosphere about him is unmistakably that of 
purity and truth. Would you not like to have him 
marry us? I think my pastor is to be away and it 
would come in just right. 

I have decided at last upon a very quiet wedding at 
high noon at the altar in the Christian Church, just 
your family and my relatives here being present. If 
I felt that I really had a home to which to invite 
them, I would arrange to give a reception to my 
friends immediately following, but since I cannot 
plan this, we will just slip away without saying good- 
by. It is so difflcult to say good-by anyway, you 
know, when one is leaving those whom she most en- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 133 


dears^ and I certainly do love the home folk; there 
are no others quite equal to them in my eyes. 

I am going to retire now and dream sweet dreams 
of my ‘‘Prince’^ who is to give me a whole kingdom 
for a wedding gift! The more I think of it, the 
more wonderful it seems^ and the more I am in- 
clined to believe that I am in “Fairyland.” Our 
Father has given me everything for which I have 
asked Him ; more, indeed, than I could ask or think. 
My heart is full to overflowing of love for Him 
to-night, dear, as well as for yourself. We will 
never forget to take Him into our counsels, will 
we? 

With love thoughts inexpressibly sweet and ten- 
der, I am your devoted 

Helen. 

“La Planta Farm,” 

September 25, 1906. 
My Dear, Beautiful Helen : 

Your New York letter has just reached me. I 
knew nothing could have happened of which I would 
not have been informed by telegraph or telephone, 
but I was beginning to fear that your letter was lost 
in the mails, and as I prize each one of them so 
highly I could not bear the thought of even that. I 
might want to publish ; them sometime, dearest 
Helen!! If you do not give to young people in 
some other form the truths with which you have so 


134 an up-to-date COURTSHIP. 


impressed me I will plead for the privilege of giving 
them your letters. 

I am glad you are pleased with your wedding 
gift. Most assuredly I can approve of your philan- 
thropic colonization project. I have given the land 
to you, to do with as you like, and I shall be very 
happy in watching you work out the details of such 
a grand and worthy scheme. Did you not tell me 
once you would like to lay out and establish a city, 
too? I have been wondering if this would not give 
you an opportunity to do that. Of course, I under- 
stand that the class of people you intend to help will 
not have the money to build the sort of homes you 
would want in your “Ideal City” ; but could you not 
do the colonizing work you contemplate and also 
build your city? The winters are so delightful, in 
southern Texas, and it is so very healthful, how 
would it do to establish a winter home for reform- 
ers, where they could hold their chautauquas and 
conferences? You are so well known among them 
you would be just the one to do it, and they would 
be just the ones to help you to beautify to your 
heart’s content. They would fall right in with your 
ideas of municipal ownership of all public utilities; 
with your community stables outside the city, your 
community kitchen, your community laundry, etc. 
They would value your broad boulevards, pave them 
at once, would take an interest in nurturing all trees 
and flowers, and would place fountains and statues in 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 135 


public streets and parks. People with this spirit 
would cooperate with you, too, in carrying out your 
ideals in the matter of entertainments, and in the 
teaching of sex truths in the schools. And I believe 
they could be induced to give up their sectarian 
prejudices even and all join one church, which should 
be called “The Church of Christ.’’ You see, I lis- 
tened very attentively and sympathetically when you 
outlined all this for me on the occasion of my first 
trip to Paris, and I resolved then, if ever you became 
my wife, to make it possible for you to realize your 
ambitions in this respect. If no spot can be found 
on this tract that is sufficiently beautiful for the city’s 
site, we will find one that is. 

Relative to employing my men on a cooperative 
basis, I have been noting that a few large-hearted 
manufacturers and others had done this, and am 
seriously considering it for myself. Be assured, 
dearest Helen, that I am willing to “follow the 
gleam” as rapidly as I see it, and if this is one of the 
ways in which I can do the most good, I am perfectly 
willing so to plan. 

I note all you say, too, in appreciation of the hard 
work I, myself, have done in accumulating this 
wealth, which makes it possible for us to lay such 
broad plans now. Tell you more about the how? 
The secret lay, dear, simply in my choosing what I 
was well adapted to doing ; my foresight in determin- 
ing what there would be a market for, and then con- 


136 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


centrating upon it with all the powers I could com- 
mand. Any one that can meet these requirements 
must succeed. The great trouble is, most young 
men want “high life,’’ and a general good time, and 
so are not willing to bury themselves for several 
years, as such a course as mine necessitates. But 
how much better that than to be slaves to both evil 
practices and hard work in old age as many of them 
are! This latter is not God’s program for any hu- 
man soul. I believe He wants young men to provide, 
financially, for the winter of life, in their youth, 
and to plan to give to their children the best possible 
care and culture before they ever ask that a wedding 
day be named. Cooperation enables many who 
could never otherwise do it, to plan for “the winter 
of life,” but I refer now to educated young men, 
who, if they had energy and ambition, would not 
need to have any concessions made to them. 

I am glad your home people have been lovely to 
you — even the precious children. To have the re- 
spect and confidence of those who know one best, 
of those among whom one has been brought up, is a 
much finer compliment than to have all the remainder 
of the world at one’s feet. I understand about the 
saloonkeepers. It is hardly to be expected that they 
would speak a good word for one who was engaged 
in the work of helping to destroy their business, espe- 
cially if she were successful. I have no use for men 
in the liquor trade ; there is positively no affinity be- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 137 


tween myself and them, yet I must say that I have 
more respect for them, too, than I have for pro- 
fessed Christian men who secretly patronize their 
business, or vote with those that sustain it. I have 
never taken very much interest in politics — partly 
because I have been so busy, and partly because of 
the objectionable manner in which campaigns are 
generally conducted — but a few days ago, while in 
Dallas, it was my privilege to hear the Hon. O. W. 
Stewart, the Prohibition party’s great organizing 
leader, and at the close of his address, I made an- 
other vow: namely, that I would, henceforth, give 
both time and money to the support of the principles 
for which men have been so terribly boycotted and 
abused. Prohibitionists will generously forgive my 
sins of omission in the past, I feel sure, when they 
know of my purpose to give them large financial help 
in the future, as well as a part of my time. How 
very rapidly prohibition sentiment is growing these 
days, and especially in the great Southland! The 
only thing that will make it possible for the saloon to 
remain more than just a few years longer will be for 
the saloonkeepers to clean up their places of business, 
and this is no prophecy, for it is so plainly written 
that every one can read. With what power Mr. 
Stewart used, in his advice to young men, the words 
of Wendell Philips : “Advocate some righteous, un- 
popular cause in your youth, if you would be on the 
popular side in middle life,” and certainly no words 


138 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


were ever truer. The minority of yesterday is the 
majority of to-day. The liquor traffic is going to 
die, and I am so proud of the fact that in the noblest 
conflict history has ever recorded up to the present 
time, so many of Dixie's brave sons will stand in the 
forefront. 

So you have met my friend and college chum. Dr. 
Bruce ! It would please me greatly, dearest, to have 
him marry us, and acting upon your suggestion, I 
have written him at once. How good of you to 
connect this bit of sentiment with our union ! I am 
sure he will come and be only too glad to do it. 

Now, about the house; it is rapidly nearing com- 
pletion, so large a force did the contractor put on, 
and I will be ready for Miss Louise any time after 
this week. I will write her directly to-day, as I shall 
want to tell her of my pleasure in the good news of 
her happiness. Yes, I did admire Mr. Colgate very 
much, and I can sincerely tell Miss Louise so. How 
different the lot of poor Edwin Somerville ! It was 
a great oversight on my part not to have arranged 
for all the young people who were so impressed with 
your lectures in San Antonio to meet you, socially, 
while you were here last, but your stay was so brief, 
and I was anxious about so many things, it never 
once occurred to my mind. Shall we not invite them 
all out to ‘‘La Planta Farm" as soon as convenient 
after you come South ? I spoke of Mr. Somerville 
particularly. He is very despondent and in need of 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 139 


just such a greeting as you would give him. I felt 
quite rebuked when he congratulated me and spoke 
of his disappointment in not seeing you again him- 
self. Sometimes I feel tempted to set him up in 
business and so test the sincerity and ability to re- 
form of young men who have made such shipwrecks 
of life, but there are so many ways to do good, I do 
not know that that would be the best use to which to 
put money after all. His father was a larger land 
owner than mine. I think it was seven sections that 
Mr. Somerville gave Edwin, when he reached his 
majority, and he not only gambled that away, but 
has almost broken his father up, too. The power 
that the sin of gambling has over a young man is in- 
comparable! We shall want always to put our 
money where it will do the most good, and I will 
decide upon nothing until after we are married, and 
I can have your judgment in the matter, too. 

How I should love to be with you on the Hudson 
to-night, dearest Helen. Sketching more of the life 
of young Somerville, and recalling the fact that he 
represents a very large class of young men, has de- 
pressed my spirits, and made me long inexpressibly 
for your society, and an opportunity to talk it all out. 
How sympathetic your broad education has made 
you, how different from other young women ! Could 
another be found, I wonder, who would refuse a 
wedding journey, preferring to go, instead, to a 
farm? Yet these things make me love you only the 


140 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


more. I believe you 'were born for me, dearest 
Helen, and that I have been working and waiting all 
these years for you, and for you alone. 

ril say good night now, and as I write it pray that 
the ‘‘holy angels may guard your pillow,” and con- 
stantly “keep watch between thee and me.” 

Adoringly, 

Arthur. 

While you are in the metropolis, suppose you visit 
art stores and make some selections of statuary and 
paintings for our home, shipping to me, C. O. D. 

“Somers-Day” Hotel, 

New York City, 
October 4, 1906. 

Dearest “Prince Arthur”: 

I did not realize that we were so far apart until 
your letter came, and I found that, although you an- 
swered at once, eight days intervened between the 
posting of mine and the receipt of yours. You 
would question my sanity, I fear, were I to tell you 
how often I have read it, but you know when away 
from home and so far separated from loved ones, 
every word from their hearts is doubly precious 
to us. 

Of course, I am delighted to hear of your decision 
to make your work cooperative, though it was exact- 
ly what I expected of you. You are a “Prince,” not 
because of the success of your life, but because of 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 141 


your willingness to share it with others. God ap- 
proves of such money-making as yours, I haven’t 
a doubt of it, my dear. Go on serving humanity 
thus, and He will surely richly bless us. 

I am pleased, too, to note your sympathetic inter- 
est in my model community. I feared you might 
think me too visionary altogether in this, but I might 
have known that one who had felt and done such 
great things himself would be the last to frown upon 
another’s plans. All you say concerning the possibil- 
ities in community building in case I should appeal 
to reformers is true, I think, except in matters 
of church union. They are the nearest ready for 
church union of any people who can be found, but 
whether even they, when it came to the test, could 
be induced to give up their sectarian prejudices, I 
cannot determine. Let me give you a little experi- 
ence my brother had in support of what I say. When 
he was in Jerusalem, he and some of his companions 
thought to have a little union service at their hotel 
one Sunday night, and administer the sacrament. It 
was proposed, I think, by a Christian minister who 
knew that there were a number of religious people in 
the house, but it had not occurred to him that there 
could be representatives of so many and such widely 
different beliefs. When he came to canvass the mat- 
ter, he found that there were, besides himself and other 
members of the Christian Church, Episcopalians, 
Baptists, Methodists, Congregationalists and Quak- 


142 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


ers ; that the Baptists would not commune with any 
one else ; he and the others of the Christian Church 
did not like to commune with the Quakers, because 
they did not believe in baptism, and the Episcopalians 
would not commune with either or any because none 
other belonged to ‘^the true church;” so the angels 
that guarded ''the Holy City” that night witnessed 
the sad spectacle of two or three little meetings in 
separate corners. Isn’t it a shame? The church of 
God is half impotent to-day because she is preaching 
the doctrines peculiar to the various sects, when she 
might be preaching Christ. Church union is coming, 
I haven’t a doubt of it, but it will not come in time 
to solve the problem for me in this building of a 
model community. My model community must have 
one church only, however; that is settled. How 
would it do to form the whole church membership 
into a sort of College of Christian Workers, with al- 
together new methods, and methods that would re- 
sult in time in real organic union? For instance 
have, instead of a preacher, a teacher, a truly schol- 
arly man, who thoroughly understands the languages 
in which the Bible was originally written, and knows 
all there is to be learned from contemporaneous his- 
tory. Then have, in the library of the College’s 
building, all the Bible commentaries that have ever 
been written and give the membership access to 
these. Each time when the succeeding lesson is an- 
nounced, appoint committees from the various de- 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 143 

nominations, whose duty it shall be to fully familiar- 
ize themselves with what the commentators of their 
respective schools say on the subject; that is, Pres- 
byterians to be prepared to give the Presbyterian in- 
terpretation ; Methodists the Methodist ; Baptists the 
Baptist, and so on. The Sunday programme to be 
practically a Sunday school, with the teacher at the 
desk, the pupils in the pews, each with a Bible in 
hand. All to read, responsively, the lesson, the se- 
lected committeemen to bring forward the views of 
their leaders and the whole to end in a free parlia- 
ment. Of course, there would always be some bigots 
who could not be influenced, but every perfectly sane, 
well poised, unselfish man and woman would be 
teachable and would study the ''Book of Books,’’ 
with a new interest. Such a plan would, it seems 
to me, not only greatly increase our faith and 
the attendance at services, but would make sec- 
tarian difference disappear as rapidly as does snow 
beneath the southern sun. It is knowledge that 
the church needs, knowledge of what the Bible 
really teaches, and any awakening or increased act- 
ivity that comes as a result of other methods will 
not endure. I am not sure that this is wholly co- 
herent, but I believe you will get my idea. There 
would have to be pastors, of course, who would or- 
ganize the philanthropies of the church, look after 
the sick, etc. It might also be well to have Sunday 
night or mid-week lectures — illustrated lectures fre- 


144 an up-to-date COURTSHIP. 


quently — on the geography and history of Bible 
lands, as well as of our present mission fields, for the 
benefit of those who haven't time to read as much 
as they should. Does it not seem to you that methods 
of this sort might be more effective than mere union 
services along the old lines, and that it might prove 
a larger contribution to the real progress of the 
church, or rather, of Christianity? You and I are 
both ready for union, no matter how much we would 
have to give up, but since there is no union to join, 
I believe, while we are waiting, we would be better 
satisfied to establish ‘‘a meeting," as the Friends say, 
when we build the model city, that would be 
more in conformity with our ideals. This part of 
the plans may not seem practicable to you at all, but 
we will put it on the schedule for discussion by and 
by, and see what our united prayers and judgments 
disclose. 

I am so glad for your resolve to become a prohi- 
bition worker, as well as a large contributor to the 
cause, though I always felt confident that you would 
just as soon as you were fully awakened. Of course 
the residents of my model city must all be prohibi- 
tionists. 

I shall surely be glad to meet the young people of 
San Antonio who were interested in my lectures 
there, and would propose that we make the home 
at ‘‘La Planta Farm" a sort of clubhouse for them. 
I do not want to stop working with young people for 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 145 

many a day yet ; it is such delightful work, and this 
would give the best opportunity for pressing home 
some of the beautiful truths which we have learned 
and which have not yet been revealed to them. 

Thank you so much, dearest Arthur, for your sug- 
gestion that I should make some selections of paint- 
ings and statuary for our home, while I am in New 
York. It was just like you to think of it, but I be- 
lieve I would rather wait until I have more time. 

The facts in the case are, dear, my mind isn’t 
much on matters of that sort, just now. It isn’t 
really on ‘^model community building,” either, al- 
though I have written at such great length concern- 
ing it, or on any of the pleasures, possessions, or op- 
portunities of this nature which our union will bring 
me. It is concerned with a far weightier subject; 
can you not guess what it is ? 

Thoughts of marriage always increased my heart- 
beats, when I recalled its real significance, and now 
that my own wedding day is so near, I am over- 
whelmed with responsibility, because I feel so wholly 
unprepared. What is stranger than that, among all 
the great universities of the world, there isn’t one 
to which I can now go to scientifically fit myself for 
my new duties? It is past all human undertaking, 
isn’t it ? 

If I wanted to become a doctor, a lawyer, a farmer, 
a cook, or even a caretaker of horses, I could find a 
multitude of colleges to receive me, but when I pro- 


146 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


pose to enter the profession of motherhood, which is 
a thousand times more important than any other — 
if indeed its importance can be measured and com- 
pared — there isn’t a single door open to me. The 
National Congress of Mothers has in contemplation 
a college of motherhood, I understand, but again it 
is too late to help me. 

Please do not think that I regret my de- 
cision, or shrink from marriage for any reason 
other than the one I have named, for I assure 
you I do not. It is only that I am so ignorant, with 
all my fine appreciation and high ideals, of what my 
new profession really comprehends. I have a dear 
friend in Brooklyn, Dr. Wood-Alien, whom I have 
before quoted, the founder of American Motherhood 
and the author of those beautiful words : 

“A partnership with God is motherhood.” 

I think I will go over to call upon her this evening 
and see if she can lessen the disappointment in any 
degree, so shall not write more. 

With tender, sacred thoughts, believe me, always. 
Your devoted 

Helen. 

‘‘Somers-DaV’-' Hotel, 

New York City, 
October 5, 1906. 

My Dearest Arthur : 

I have good news for you ! My Brooklyn friend 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 147 


has outlined a little course of study for me, and I 
have placed myself under her personal instruction 
for the next two w^eks. How I wish I might have 
come two months ago, or even two years ! The time 
I have is altogether too brief, yet it is infinitely better 
than nothing at all, and I shall be able to continue the 
studies you know after I leave New York. I am 
very happy in the opportunity to get this much even, 
dear, and to know that you understand me is such 
a comfort. As I have said before, so few men enter, 
sympathetically, into the things that most concern 
a sensitive woman, but you do, and it is when I 
think of this that I love you most. You have the 
strength of the strongest men, the tenderness and 
sympathy of women, dearest Arthur, a combination 
so rare, yet so much to be desired. What a happy, 
happy wife I shall be ! 

The outline of my course of study has to do with 
prenatal influences and conditions only. Paidology I 
can study later on; but you know we progressive 
women believe that we can give our children any 
talent we fully determine upon giving them, and it 
was this knowledge that I felt particularly anxious 
to possess. If I had time, I should like to take an- 
other course in physical education and would study 
household economies, scientific cookery and the ar- 
tistic decoration of the home. To all these things 
you may be sure that I shall yet devote a considerable 
part of my time. 


148 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


I shall leave for the West the 19th inst, so you 
will have opportunity to write me once or twice 
more only before I go. Think of it, dearest Arthur, 
three or four letters only to pass between us; three 
or four weeks only and we shall '‘stand before the 
King” to plight our troth! 

With sweetest, holiest thoughts of that hour, 

I am your loving, devoted 

Helen. 

“La Planta Farm,” 

October 10, 1906. 

My Dearest “Lady Helen”: 

My pulses were thrilled to an unusual degree as I 
read your letters of the 4th and 5th instants! Was 
there ever another woman. I say again, like my 
beautiful Helen? One so conscientious, so appreci- 
ative and true? I understand something of your 
feelings, dearest, and if there were a ’’College of 
Motherhood” to which you could go, I would con- 
sent to a postponement of our nuptials until you 
were satisfied with your knowledge in this field. 
Since there is none, I do not see anything to do but 
to carry out our present plans. Then, when you, 
through experience and study, have the necessary 
information, you can establish such a school for the 
training of other young women. This cannot, al- 
together, make up for the loss to you, I know, but it 
will, in such large measure, I feel sure you can see 
“the silver lining” to your “cloud.” 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


149 


And how good that you have a friend to whom 
you can go for some help, even though the time is 
so limited! Take heart from this, dear. A few 
days ago I saw an advertisement of some purity 
books and among them was one, “What a Young 
Husband Ought to Know,*’ for which I sent at 
once. 

How very, very tender my love grew. Dearest, as 
I read again of your soul’s purest longings, and real- 
ized more and more of the depths of your womanly 
nature. The way will open, in some direction, I am 
sure, for the instruction of one who is so anxious to 
do her part well. 

Those words from your friend’s pen : 

“A partnership with God is motherhood,” 

are marvelously beautiful ; indeed, I cannot imagine 
anything lovelier or more chaste. It is undoubtedly 
the continuous reading of such sentiment as this, for 
years, that has so exalted your thought. You have 
been living in an entirely different world from most 
women, yet you have been so patient with all with 
whom you have come, in touch. Let your accus- 
tomed practical good sense control you now, dear- 
est, and go forward with courage and a purpose 
true. 

I was profoundly interested in all you said rela- 
tive to the church of your model city. You doubtless 
know much better than I what can and what cannot 


150 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 

be done, for here again your experiences have been 
larger. What a commentary on our present divided 
church your brother’s Jerusalem experience was! 
And it is only about two years since that occurred, is 
it not? We are so thoroughly converted to union, 
as you say, it is difficult for us to understand why 
everybody else is not. The church isn^t out of the 
kindergarten! If it were there could not possibly be 
as many sects and ‘"isms” as there are. 

I haven’t written this letter comfortably, dearest. 
Perhaps you have noticed my nervous pen. Word 
reached me in yesterday’s post that a Chicago syndi- 
cate was about to purchase the tract of land I coveted 
for you, and so I am off for Houston at once. I do 
not know of any other body of land so desirable that 
is available, and I am particularly anxious to get 
hold of it myself. Land is advancing so very rapidly 
in price, too, is another reason why I am making 
haste. 

This absorbing business interest cannot supplant 
the still more absorbing thoughts of you, though, 
dearest, and of the rapidly approaching great day, 
when you will be my wife ! My precious Helen ! you 
cannot know now how I honor and love you, but 
you will know some sweet day. 

That the counsel of your friend, if not this letter, 
may lift the burden, is the prayer of 

Your ever adoring 

Arthur. 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 151 


‘'SOMERS-DAr'-' Hotel^ 

New York City^ 
October 16, 1906. 
My Dearest ‘‘Prince Arthur^'' : 

Of all your beautiful, satisfying letters, your last 
has touched me most deeply ! “Oh, noble Prince \” I 
have only half realized the greatness of your soul! 
To think that you appreciate my disappointment so 
keenly and truly, that you would propose that I 
should have the joy of establishing the first college 
of motherhood! It does take the heaviness out of 
my heart, for with the scientific help of my Brooklyn 
friend, and the sympathetic help you will give, I 
can yet prepare myself reasonably well, at least, for 
my new and sacred offices. I feel as though the last 
“cloud’’ on our horizon had vanished, dearest 
Arthur, and that the “new heaven” and “new earth” 
had come. Surely, it has come to us, and it will 
come to all lovers who have been as candid with each 
other, and who as fully understand each other’s 
sentiments and tastes. 

Recalling the fact that all do not pass as rigid ex- 
aminations as we, I am reminded of a little experi- 
ence I had as I came to New York City. On a Big 
Four train one day I sat behind two well-dressed, 
fine-looking young men, who were evidently old ac- 
quaintances, but who had not met for several years. 
After reminiscing for a while, one of them took 
the photo of a beautiful girl from his pocket and 


152 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


began telling the other how perfectly charming she 
was; of his love for her, and of their approaching 
nuptials. The friend let him talk on and on for a 
considerable time without replying, except to com- 
ment on the young woman’s beauty, but finally he 
said : “Oh, you will get over all that some day, old 
fellow!” I was so hurt I could have cried. The 
one was married, I suppose, and married after the 
kind of a courtship which hides everything that the 
contracting parties ought to know, so after a few 
years, or possibly months — it could not have been 
long, for he was young — his love was as dead as a 
last year’s rose; deader, in fact, for a rose still has 
some perfume left. Doesn’t he exactly represent 
the prevailing ideals of courtship? And are there 
any customs that need altering more? I wanted to 
speak to the lover and had fully made up my mind so 
to do, if a good opportunity presented itself, but he 
left the train, unfortunately, before his married 
friend, and I was left, with my disappointment, to 
wonder and to think. How glad I was as I med- 
itated that I was not that man’s wife! And how 
happy, too, to have proof at the same time of the 
fact that love can and does live. Just across the 
aisle from me was a whole family, a father, mother, 
and four half grown, healthy boys and girls, and I 
never saw more affection in a man’s eyes nor more 
deference paid to a woman than she was paid by 
her “liege lord.” No one could doubt, as he 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 1 53 

watched them, that the trinity of love was there; 
and that was not all; it was evident that there 
had been the fullest cooperation in the children’s 
care. 

My thoughts are so much of the more important 
things, dearest, I had not remembered until now the 
receipt of your telegram saying you had been able 
to secure the land. I am glad of it, of course, very 
glad, because I am sure your success adds to your 
happiness greatly. 

I must tell you, while I think of it, that I had a 
long talk with Dr. Wood- Allen the other day regard- 
ing your suggested trip around the world, and she 
advises that, as a part of our preparation for parent- 
hood, we make the journey, starting, say, about Feb- 
ruary of next year. That, in view of our proposed 
future work and the ambitions which we desire to 
transmit to our children, we take this method of 
enlarging our own minds and hearts. But do not 
take time to consider it now ; we shall have months in 
which to decide. A telephone message, received this 
moment from Brooklyn, informs me that my doctor 
instructor is called to Michigan to see relatives who 
are very ill, so this alters my plans, and I will leave 
immediately for the West, too. Even before this 
comes to your hands, I will have reached Paris. 
Write me there. And, dearest, can you not come 
very soon, so that we may spend the remainder of 
our ante-nuptial days together? It would be lovely 


154 an up-to-date COURTSHIP. 


to be with you, for letters no longer seem adequate 
to express the sentiments of my soul. It is fortu- 
nate that we did not postpone our marriage until 
next June. I see now that this is the very limit of 
time that we could have been content separated. Too 
long engagements are unwise. I am fully ready, 
dearest Arthur, and rejoice with joy unspeakable 
that before another moon shall full and wane, I 
shall hear from your lips those sweet, meaningful 
words, “my wife!'^ 

With the deepest, most sacred thoughts a woman 
ever had, I am your fond, fond Helen. 

At “The Court/^ 

San Antonio, 
October 20, 1906. 

My Precious Helen : 

“There are times,” the poet says, 

“When thoughts do lie too deep for human utter- 
ance,” 

and surely this is the time in my own life I 
When I think of our next meeting, and of all 
the beautiful days that are to follow, words seem 
entirely too meaningless to convey to you the ecsta- 
sies of my soul, so 1 shall not try, but just say that 
the house and practically all my arrangements here 
are complete, and that within forty-eip'ht hours 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 155 


after this goes to the post, accompanied by Miss 
Louise, I shall be on my way to Paris. 

My family will not arrive, of course, until the 
evening of the 30th, or possibly not until the morn- 
ing of the 31st, but I have asked Dr. Van Allen 
to join us on Monday, the 29th inst., and he has 
promised so to do. 

I hope you will be pleased to know, dearest, that 
I have ordered a couple of automobiles for use dur- 
ing the week we are in Paris, so as to have numer- 
ous excursions with the family, into the country 
and to adjoining cities and towns, and these we will 
make, on leaving, presents to your Father and Aunt. 
When you can help me to determine in what way, we 
will remember them more substantially still, and 
we will call it a thank offering for God’s great good- 
ness to us in so truly uniting our lives. 

And now, my dearest Helen, as a last written 
word, in the language of another fond Love to his 
’Heart, ‘‘May all gentlest angels attend you !” 

Your satisfied, 

Arthur. 


ADDENDUM. 

The morning of October 31st, 1906, dawned clear 
and warm in Paris, and warmer still were the hearts 
of the people, for they loved the little girl — she al- 
ways would be that to them — who was to be mar- 
ried that day, and although there was a feeling of 


1 56 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


disappointment that they were not to witness the 
ceremony, they recognized Miss Helen’s right to 
make it private, if she chose. 

“How can we add to the pleasures of the day?” 
they asked themselves when the announcements were 
all made. “She does not now need money, nor any 
gifts which money can buy ; how j:an we show our 
appreciation of her loyalty to us and to all the inter- 
ests of her beloved Paris ?” So — they had put their 
heads together, and planned, as we shall see. 

Miss Helen’s own arrangements were simplicity 
itself. All she had thought of was to have the cere- 
mony, extraordinarily solemn to her because she so 
keenly felt the responsibilities of marriage, in the 
most sacred place of which she knew, and that, to 
her, was the altar of the Christian Church. Here 
she had given her heart to Christ and been baptized, 
as well as knelt with many another penitent, and 
now, she said : “I’ll kneel there when I take my 
marriage vows.” She had not thought of decora- 
tions ; its great organ, its artistic colorings, its beau- 
tiful memories, were adornment enough for her. 
Miss Lois Montgomery was to play, softly, during 
the ceremony ; they were to be unattended, and only 
the two families, including Aunt Emily and Cousin 
Louise, were to be present. 

When the occupants of the four cabs arrived at 
the church, the bride with her Father and Cousin 
Louise, the bridegroom with his friend. Doctor Van 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 157 


Allen, and the other members of the party follow- 
ing, the first surprise met them. The church was 
as white, almost, as the dainty silk muslin dress 
Helen wore. Not only had all the chrysanthemums 
in the city been used, but the bride’s numerous 
friends in adjoining States had been appealed to, 
and hundreds of the great, white beauties had been 
shipped in. 

Then just as the ceremony closed, a chorus of 
sweet voices pealed forth from the parlors; the 
voices of her dearest girl friends : 

“We cannot let you go our Helen, 

We cannot let you go. 

Without one tender word from you. 

You’ve always been so good, so true. 
We cannot let you go. 

“We cannot let your go, our Helen, 

We cannot let you go. 

Without one tender word to you. 

We love, love you, yes we do. 

We cannot let you go.” 

When the last sweet echo of the music had died 
away Helen turned to call the girls to her and faced 
her brother Paul. He had come all the way from 
London to give his sister the joyous surprise of 
being present at her marriage and had fortunately 


158 AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 

arrived in time to hear her take the vows. Were 
the beautiful wedding ‘"gifts” of the Father never 
to end? 

The next few moments, with their embraces, their 
introductions and reconciliations, presents a picture 
too sacred to fully unveil. But there is another: 
the picture of the dear girl friends who wait. They 
advance at the opportune time, with flushed faces, 
as well as loyal hearts — for Paul Davenport is mag- 
netic and handsome beyond description — and extend 
their congratulations, so tender and true. 

There were no other demonstrations until the cabs 
started for the two o’clock train. Then, all at once, 
the streets were filled with people, who, like the ap- 
preciative girls at the church, could not let Helen go 
without giving her some manifestation of their es- 
teem. The cab tops were now promptly lowered, 
and all along the route hundreds of hats were lifted, 
and hundreds of handkerchiefs waved a loving greet- 
ing (which included, of course, a recognition of the 
home boy’s return, as well as the home girl’s going). 
When they reached the depot Judge Francis Noble, 
appointed spokesman for the company, advanced to 
the first cab and said : “Miss Helen, you belong to 
us ; we have for years regarded you as our most dis- 
tinguished citizen, and we simply could not allow 
you to go away without our blessing. Accept from 
us, your loyal neighbors and friends, the deepest ad- 
miration and affection of our hearts, and know that 


AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 159 

our interests and prayers will follow you to the 
beautiful new home to which you go, and which you 
will so truly grace.’' 

Then followed the presentation of the gallant 
husband to the judge, but before there was oppor- 
tunity for congratulations the train came in, and the 
party’s private car, “El Palacio,” was coupled on, 
and they were called to go aboard. Doubtless this 
was well, for Mrs. Davenport-Macdonald (the com- 
pound name had been decided upon, the husband 
taking it as well as the wife) could scarcely have 
stood a longer interview, her heart was so near to 
bursting with its wealth of joy and love. 

“El Palacio’s” company — said company including 
the Davenports and De Forrests, as well as the Mac- 
donald family — was a gay one, except the beautiful 
bride. Her thoughts were too deep and her memo- 
ries too vivid to permit her to enter into the gaye- 
ties, but it goes without saying that no one was 
quite so happy as was she. 

The party stopped over night in St. Louis, the 
Paris people returning home the next day, and from 
there on “El Palacio” went direct to San Antonio, 
arriving Friday evening at 7 o’clock. 

Here they said good-by to Father and Mother 
Macdonald, Mrs. Moore and Margaret Lee, stepped 
into the auto that stood in waiting, and in scarcely 
more time than it takes to tell it, were driven through 
the moonlighted gates at “La Planta Farm.” 


i6o AN UP-TO-DATE COURTSHIP. 


‘'Home, sweet home,’' said Arthur, as he tenderly 
half-carried his beautiful wife up the steps, and 
Helen echoed, drawing her fair arms more closely 
about his neck : “Yes, ‘home, sweet, sweet home.’ ” 


THE END. 




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